Why did the warden give laundry soap to departing prisoners?
As a detergent against future grime.
What did the salads say before departing?
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
It must be tough working in the shipping and receiving department of a zoo.
No one ever addresses the elephant in the room.
My wife and I were shopping for clothes at the department store when she asked, "Do you prefer boxers or briefs?"
A nominee for director of the math department at my school was caught having an affair with her student...
*Dad walking past a mirror in a department store
Saw a bunch of guys in the local department store, shouting “f#ck”, “b#ll&cks”, “w#nker”!
Then realised I was in the menswear section.
There's a department of the United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.
Apparently every police department has a food division
However, they only take cases involving a salt and buttery.
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
What do children and department stores have in common?
They're both preparing for Christmas ... in September.
My daughter and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and we were amazed by the quality of the produce. We spoke with the Department Manager and offered to buy all of their Romaine
What's the most common disease in HR departments?
When a department store santa loses his job does he get the sack?
Do human cannonballs get fired?
Do pirates get told to sling their hook's?
Do prostitutes get laid off?
Do trapeze artists get let go?
Sam and Ella walked into a bar.
The bar got shut down by the health department.
What’s the worst part of working for the department of unemployment?
When you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
The police department made all homicide detectives stay under quarantine for two weeks.
>!They had coroner-virus.
A status report from the department of justice
Blind guy walks into a department store and starts swinging his guide dog in circles over his head.
A shop keeper asks him what he is doing and he replies "Taking a look around."
What's the favorite movie of dead people?
What department do Optical Technicians work for?
The IT department is like a bra...
IT supports your most important assets.
I was accused of taking soap making ingredients from the department store...
There was a survey in the cosmetics department...
...they were asking people to write a couple of their favorite smells on a scrap of paper and put it in a box.
I didn't really have a strong opinion, but I did put my two scents in.
Did you know the US Mint is the richest Department in the US?
They make a lot of money.
Did you hear that Beyoncé bought a department store?
If I ran a large department store, I would publish a huge catalogue of Christmas products and call it the "All I want for Christmas" issue.
And put Mariah Carey on the cover
Saw someone visiting their deerly departed at the cemetery.
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.
The Geology Department at my school rocks
Walking past the maternity department at Target, I said to my wife...
"It's great that they have clothes for both expecting parents"
https://i.imgur.com/n9YPBrD.jpg
At the casino, what department did the vampire work in?
My cousin got a job at the police department sketching pictures of suspects.
Apparently he’s a con artist.
I was heading to the department store to pick up some gardening supplies and my wife asked me to pick up one of those tangle free hoses.
I guess she isn’t into the kinky stuff.
Did you hear what happened to that Department of Defense employee?
What do you get when you cross a cat with an octopus?
A visit from the ethics department and immediate withdrawal of your funding.
My first date with an Emergency department nurse was...
I couldn’t believe the highway department called my dad a thief.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
What do you call a Slavic governments accounting department?
Pun Request: Facilities Department needs a team name for an office wide Bubble Hockey Team
Any ideas on bringing Office Management and Hockey Terms together for a good team name?
Did you hear about the farmer who won an award from the U.S. Department of Agriculture?
He was outstanding in his field.
The joke is pretty deep....
I heard that the underwater financial department is tanking. They started using the loan sharks.
My French roommate doesn't know anything about the department store John Lewis
She's most likely used to Jean Louis
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
