As a detergent against future grime.
Lettuce leaf.
Unfortunately, there were many casual tees.
He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.
"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.
"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "¡Eso sí que es!"
"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.
...Two Testis.
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
The fourth couldn’t afford to because she was Po.
Prose and Cons
No one ever addresses the elephant in the room.
He said "I don't think that's a weakness"
"Well I don't give a f* what you think"
I replied, "Depends."
Then realised I was in the menswear section.
They had to denominator.
However, they only take cases involving a salt and buttery.
LED Zeppelin.
UNEEDCHEF
Some stories have hooks.
This story has a bloody good one.
It's about love—
Or at least marriage.
My marriage.
At heart, it's your typical fish out of water story, but like I said there's a hook.
The hook's in the beginning.
Although it's really the tail end that's most moving—at least now, when our love's drying up.
Understand:
I'm a fisherman, and I caught my wife with another man.
Well, I caught the man first.
I used Craigslist.
But I suppose the details don't really matter. It's enough to know that by the time he was naked in the shed it was too late for him to change his mind.
He broke down easily. He wasn't particularly thick skinned.
That's where the hook came in—
pushed through a fold of flesh on his back.
He wasn't much in the size department, but I didn't intend for him to get hung up on it. Unfortunately, he kept trying to escape, so what choice did I have? Then he seemed quite insecure, so I pierced him with another steel hook just in case.
Like I said:
Bloody good hook.
After he stopped struggling, I took him down and dragged him to my boat. Then we went fishing.
Hold on, though.
I may need to backtrack a little, because you may be wondering how I even knew she was out there.
The answer is: I'd already seen her swimming a few times.
It was love at first sight.
Like many couples nowadays we met on the net.
So back to when I was fishing:
I was in my boat with the Craigslist man with the steel hooks in his back. I had tied a thick rope to one of the hooks, placed the man onto a net, and pushed them both overboard. He splashed and choked, attracting a lot of attention.
I waited for her call.
It came.
She sounded so near to me.
When she swam just close enough to the Craigslist man in the water, I pulled in the net—and there she was: shining, mine to the gills and writhing so enticingly!
I took her ashore.
I placed her in a water tank and told her she would be my wife.
I screwed her—
shut.
For days I watched her bang—
on the glass.
Until one day it happened: the glass cracked, the tank broke open, and with the water she spilled onto the floor.
Now here I am, watching my marriage fall apart.
Her gills are barely stirring.
Her face: dry and still.
It's only her scaly tail that's still gently moving.
I caught my wife with another man. I met her on the net. I thought our love would last forever, but now, listening to her shriek, I realize I was catfished! I wanted to marry a siren—but this thing is nothing
... keep reading on reddit ➡They're both preparing for Christmas ... in September.
if he'd lettuce
The clams department
Do human cannonballs get fired?
Do pirates get told to sling their hook's?
Do prostitutes get laid off?
Do trapeze artists get let go?
Staff infections.
When you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
>!They had coroner-virus.
A shop keeper asks him what he is doing and he replies "Taking a look around."
Eye-T
They make a lot of money.
IT supports your most important assets.
...they were asking people to write a couple of their favorite smells on a scrap of paper and put it in a box.
I didn't really have a strong opinion, but I did put my two scents in.
It’s called Jay-Z Penny
They're all lyes!
And put Mariah Carey on the cover
So I called the fire department, man.
It made a good ad visor.
"It's great that they have clothes for both expecting parents"
https://i.imgur.com/n9YPBrD.jpg
The Count Room
The bar got shut down by the health department.
