A man bursts into his therapist's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming I'm stuck inside a deck of cards!"
The therapist looked up from his paperwork and said, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
How does a deck of cards get around?
It shuffles.
(a true dad joke, from my 9-year old)
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m finding it hard to deal with this.
Anyone I ever dated was impressed when I told them I liked to relax on my poop deck.
They were always disappointed when I showed them it was just a regular deck with dog poop on it.
I got locked in a room with a deck of cards.
I was in solitaire confinement.
Reposting a deck.
https://preview.redd.it/6fjp1ey3av951.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f316e956e212e100c3fe44cbaef56333f1c2c9a
I woke up on an island, just me and a deck of cards.
So far, I’m not a big fan of solitairy confinement
I was sitting on the deck with my son. My neighbor walked by and asked “Are you babysitting?”
I said “No, I’m dad sitting.”
My wife is teaching my little ones (3/1) about bugs so they wrote “Ant” in honey on a piece of paper to attract them and set it out on the deck. She was sad When we went out to check later that day, only one was there.
You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!
What do you call someone who commits a murder with a deck of cards that only has clubs, spades, and diamonds?
Me : "Doctor Doctor, I feel like a deck of cards"
Doctor : "Sit down, I'll deal with you later"
Marriage is like a deck of cards
It starts with Hearts and Diamonds and ends with a Club and a Spade
I called the casino to ask why the used card decks I ordered were still undelivered.
They assured me they were dealing with it.
A young-looking sea captain comes on deck to greet his crew for the first time and one man blurted out by accident, "He's a baby!"
The captain responded, "No shit, I used to be a seaman."
I once played poker with a deck of tarot cards.
I got a full house and 3 people died.
A card game was going on until one man was caught stealing from the deck
Furious, they would have hit him with a club if they had one
Why did the deck blush?
Because it was caught watching paint stripping.
A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!" The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later."
short-funny.com/best-puns…
My teenage son got a tattoo of a deck of cards without our permission.
I might have to deal with him later.
I told the doctor I felt like a deck of playing cards...
He said he’d deal with me later.
I was stuck on a boat with no food in the middle of the ocean with just a deck of cards.
Marriage is like a deck of cards...
All you need to start of is two hearts and a diamond but come the end you'll wish you had a club and a spade.
My son was complaining that his older brother threw a deck of cards at him.
I said, “Why don’t you deal with it?”
Can you cut the deck for me?
I saw them remove the upper deck from a baseball park the other day...
I was on an amazing cruise, eating dinner on the deck looking out over the water when I dropped my silverware off the edge and into the ocean.
We were finishing up dinner on the deck tonight
and I told my boys to get ready, there was a 100% chance of son showers.
They both looked up the clear sky and told me I was wrong. Naive boys...
While out caroling one Christmas eve, Jeff & Don were tragically killed in the middle of singing "Deck the Halls". In a strange twist, they were reincarnated as ass-less leather chaps. Jeff looked at his friend and said...
..."Don, we now are gay apparel."
I played euchre with a large deck of cards....
It was kind of a big deal
What do you call a deck of cards with nothing to do?
A therapist was with a client when another client burst in and said, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep having a nightmare that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards."
The therapist looked at him calmly and said, "I'm with another client. I'll deal with you later."
A patient bursts into his therapist's office and shouts, "Doc, you gotta help me. I keep dreaming that I'm trapped in a deck of cards!"
The therapist turns from his current patient and says, "I'm busy now. I'll deal with you later."
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find it extremely difficult to deal with.
I got locked in a room with nothing but a deck of cards.
I was in solitaire confinement.
The only gift I got for my birthday is a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find that very hard to deal with.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
The only birthday gift I got this year was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find that very hard to deal with.
For my birthday, all I got was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I find that very difficult to deal with.
I accidentally locked myself in a room with nothing but a deck of cards..
I was in solitaire confinement.
For my birthday, i got gifted a sticky deck of cards
I find it very hard to deal with
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