Debts Puns

A list of puns related to "Debts"

Because of his enormous debt, Old McDonald has to sell his farm.

To cover what he e-i-e-i owes.

👍︎ 444
💬︎
👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a debt collector say when complimenting a duck?

“You have an outstanding bill!”

👍︎ 630
💬︎
👤︎ u/medimanager
📅︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a debt who’s wife has left them?

A-loan

Edit: whose

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/Zak-Ive-Reddit
📅︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
US debt

The US needs less writing off death, more writing off debt

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/Starkandco
📅︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone recently told me being $30,000 dollars in credit card debt was a bad thing.

If it is such a bad thing, why does my bank say "outstanding balance" below it?

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/aaron778
📅︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My son borrows money from me every week, so I told him, “I don’t think you understand the seriousness of your debt situation.”

He said, “Oh please. You should really give me a bit more credit.”

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My father passed recently, and he left me a lot of debt.

That’s why you shouldn’t tell your dad to leave you alone.

👍︎ 27
💬︎
👤︎ u/Sir-Danksalot
📅︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman who burns her debt in a fire?

Bernadette.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/LuizFelipeSotinho
📅︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me my opinion on the National Debt...

I said it is big enough to take care of itself.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/CaptnKarisma
📅︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in debt (OC)

I was in debt and somehow a screenshot of my bank records seeped onto the interente. It went so viral that a famous rapper decided to Post Malone.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/XX_RedSpace_xX
📅︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is an unpaid debt so miserable?

Because it’s always a loan

👍︎ 10
💬︎
👤︎ u/martianrome
📅︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats the name of the most badass debt collector?

Bond.

Legal Bond.

👍︎ 60
💬︎
👤︎ u/moosenordic
📅︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can proctologists never get out of debt?

They're always in arrears.

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/JoeFas
📅︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Debt collectors.

You gotta give it to em.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/THEWOBBLYSAUSAGES
📅︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of offense is not paying your credit card debt?

A Capital One

👍︎ 26
💬︎
👤︎ u/stefanopolis
📅︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My son said he would pay off his student debt if he won the lottery.

I wonder what he'd do with the remaining £5.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
My friends call me Student's debt.

Because I'm forever a loan.

👍︎ 17
💬︎
👤︎ u/Maax42_
📅︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Who do you talk to get out of debt?

Mortgage Freeman

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/sSoundFXx
📅︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I hate debt, but adding a charge to my credit card seems positive

It's quite ionic

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/PaxPaw
📅︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the fish go into debt?

Because he got caught up in a pond-zi scheme

👍︎ 29
💬︎
👤︎ u/Lebrooklynderp
📅︎ Apr 13 2015
🚨︎ report
What kind of debt does a paraplegic have?

Crippling.

👍︎ 19
💬︎
👤︎ u/Ehpic_Gaming
📅︎ Jun 12 2016
🚨︎ report
Why was the pelican in debt?

It couldn't pay off a really big bill

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/mikeybthehuman
📅︎ Jun 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Why can't proctologists get out of debt?

They're always in arrears.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/JoeFas
📅︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine is constantly borrowing money. I said to him, “I don’t think you understand the seriousness of your debt situation.”

He said, “Oh please...you really should give me a bit more credit.”

👍︎ 27
💬︎
👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 09 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.