I read about one famous detective. Man was always catching criminals by simple luck. Either he would just luckily stumble across damning evidence or luckily catch the criminal in the act.

I think his name was Sheer luck Holmes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clahws
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Damn!
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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You're damn right it will
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/giftsamuel_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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A damn good joke
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HenkBlok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Damn this was good
πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Damn those waves
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Damn, I mist the morning post
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Oh damn guess I get to keep my tip
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Castille_92
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Now you just wait there a damn second friend.. a little birdie has just informed me that you are in fact a mime

Ya don’t say.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it's on the house.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/svncactus117
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Damn that sucks
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JAYESH_15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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I met a beautiful cactus today, so I told it, " you're looking sharp today ".

" I'm just a cactus " , it said. " You have a point there ", I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magnusfeli
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I was prescribed medication but couldn't take it. It was impossible to get that damn lid off...

You might have heard of it. It's called Tryopenin.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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A damn good pun
πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mani_47
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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My biology teacher is a pun legend
πŸ‘︎ 524
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MushroomLatte
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Do you know what the opposite of ladyfingers is?

Mentos.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalbo_boii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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*Can't find where I parked my van* Me : Damn. Where did my
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/araitisaname
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Damn birds got us again
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knorke3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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High IQ pun
πŸ‘︎ 552
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathyDre
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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I told my brother ten jokes to make him laugh...

No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 563
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cubres
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Damn i'm now convinced Putin poisoned the dude
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demand_Haste_CM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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I’ll be damned
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anisism
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Damn that deck tho
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/multiplefroggs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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I listen to every type of music except heavy metal

Because heavy metals are toxic.

(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)

πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Damn near had a threesome last night

Just needed two more people

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/felinebarbecue
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Damn that's a sticky situation
πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KriykoBq
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?

Hot Dam!

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Damn, he's good
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UhRealBucknut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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What are a kidnappers favourite type of shoes?

White Vans.

πŸ‘︎ 213
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe, damn it! Breathe!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.

Good players are hard to find.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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Has anyone been to Engagement, Ohio ?

It's a little place between Dayton and Marion.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XIIXOO
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I'm so damn tired of these daily repetitive boring Herb jokes. Honestly..

It's Thyme to stop.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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In case you're feeling crummy.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadaverkitten94
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.

I was like well damn.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Branith
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I have daily sex

Edit: I have dyslexia*

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
They were in the same damn box!

We will never know!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Why did the duck have to attend rehab?

He was a quack head

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Damn we just missed the green light, this is gonna be heavy!

Because it will be a Full Wait

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dartis_X-UI
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Let that sink in
πŸ‘︎ 185
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregorybrad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Damn I heard about this one cult, but it’s really hard to get into

I guess you could say it’s pretty diffi-cult.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SakuraYanfuyu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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What’s a drug addicts favourite part of decorating the ginger bread house?

Doing the white lines

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-person-online
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shininglice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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