What did the courting owl say when it was raining?

Too wet to woo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sroka87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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I'm worried that the supreme court will lack empathy now that Ginsburg is gone.

Without her they're ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudefaceguy_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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The girl is the middle of the tennis court

Is Annette

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robertn361
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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Never date a tennis player

Love means nothing to them

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wavepoolsquad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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The owner of the Indianpolis Colts will be in trouble if he has to speak in court, because no matter what he says the judge will think...

That's Irsay.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dawsonju
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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Who does Apple call on to provide testimony in court?

An iWitness

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackoMabreda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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A man who took a airline to court for losing his luggage...

...has lost his case.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...

Toot Suite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrayhearing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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I was told not to eat the candy in court...

Those are judge mints

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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World renowned tongue twister champion was officially charged in court today

They gave him a tough sentence. He got off better than his accomplice, The semi-colon, who is in between two complete sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skycooper11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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What’s the best thing to wear to court?

A lawsuit

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueFoxoonys
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday

She lost her hearing.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeSayAye
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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What did the skirt do when it was in court?

It pleated guilty.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Did you know that Fruit of the Loom (TM) once took Hanes(TM) to court?

It was a BRIEF case.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Took an airline company to court today after my luggage went missing

I lost the case

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigg_UN
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Why do court room stenographers talk loudly?

Because they’re hearing aides!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schnaffoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?

Sediment always settles

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Why did Democratic senators boycott the nomination of the new Supreme Court justice?

They just couldn’t Barrett.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BornOfAVegan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I don't know what decisions the Supreme Court will make in 2021 but one thing is for sure...

They will be ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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I’m representing a man in court today charged with tippexing all the full stops out of books.

I’m expecting a long sentence

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jepeggys
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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The tall guy who tips off the ball to start basketball games was found deceased at mid-court...

Dead center.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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BREAKING: The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Dad Jokes.

They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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(Too soon) looks the the Supreme Court is...

Ruthless

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacSteele13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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I stole a lawyer’s underwear right before court.

There’s no way he’ll succeed without his legal briefs.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMadeItGuys
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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He won't be allowed to court anyways
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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Why can't beggers be allowed in court for selection to the Jury box like any other non felon citizen?

Cuz, beggers can't be choosers!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imgprojts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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A fish goes to court for murder

The fish is found β€œgill”ty

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/26SobbingHorses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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The harsh reality of soup court v.redd.it/gb9mcsnnk9a51
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/observer2017
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?

β€œOdour in the court!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Why did noone in the King's Court laugh when the King farted?

Because noble gases don't cause a reaction.

Credit to u/neitral-fella r/dadjokes doesn't allow crossposting but I thought it belonged here

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tricky_Nick007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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The court released the suspect on the grounds of being on an armor show on the night of the murder ...

it was an ironclad alibi!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/troy_lc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Mario in court

Judge :I order you to pay 10,000$ Mario: why Judge: it’s a fine Mario : no itsa not

I didn’t come up with this just thought it was funny

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elliott268
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Why was Helium in court?

He broke the law of gravity

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StrijderMilan
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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A student is arrested and brought to court for carrying a weapon to his morning lecture

Judge: Why did you bring a taser to your lecture?

Defendent: Well you see sir, I have a hard time getting up in the morning. But I’m not a big fan of soft drinks or coffee, so I thought the next best thing was to give me a good shock.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pumped_Pipe
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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Why was the chicken held in contempt of court?

For laying under oath.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Judge: Order in the court!

Me: I'll have a cheeseburger and fries

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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[In court] Judge: After seeing all the evidence, I am sending you to jail.

Defendant: Say-you-did-what.

Judge: What did you say?

Defendant: Thanks for reversing my sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Supreme Court
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tjc72006
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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My Chinese friend has to go to court,

But I will fetch Himalaya

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShireSearcher
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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I was at the park the other day

And I heard a bunch of yelling and grunting near the tennis court. I went over there and asked

"What's with all the racket?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leaderrzz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 182
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spiderkc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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What does a lawyer wear to court

A lawsuit

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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What type of underwear do lawyers wear to court?

Legal briefs

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMadeItGuys
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently took an airline to court after my luggage didn’t turn up...

I lost my case.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizzix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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