What do you say to the cashier when your credit card is denied at a convenience store?

β€œSorry for the inconvenience.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh_j
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Did you hear about the situation in which a black, 17 year old excavator robbed a small convenience store?

It was a minor minority minor miner notoriety.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dishwasherfetus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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There is a bunch of teenagers in my town who keep stealing Red Bull from convenience stores.

I don’t know how they sleep at night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Sign at a convenience store:Our credit manager is Helen Waite...

If you want credit go to Helen Waite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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A guy walks up to the convenience store counter and tries to buy a six pack with a fake $20 bill.

The elderly woman clerk quickly realized it was fake and became enraged!! She started screaming, grabbed his hair and slammed his head on the counter until he was out cold.

She was SO upset she had a counter fit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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Some thieves stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local convenience store.

I don’t know how they can sleep at night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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If Superman worked at a convenience store

He'd be clerk Kent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cfeuer1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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What do you call a convenience store in a hard to get to place?

an inconvenience store

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebobe999
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Did you guys hear about the man that walked into a convenience store naked, balancing on the rounded parts of his feet near the base of his toes, juggling 3 globes, and somehow managed to rob the place?

The balls on that guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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I told the cashier at the convenience store that she should keep the change.

It was just my two cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/N_AS_A
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
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Spider-Man catches a guy stealing a six-pack from a convenience store...

The guy puts down the beer and runs away. Spidey picks up the beer to take it back to the store, but he pauses. In a moment of weakness, he takes the beer home for himself.

That's how Peter Parker pinched a pack of pilfered Pilsners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenSeaBreeze
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
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Customer dadjoked his children at the convenience store today.

The kids were probably around 8-12 years old. They all go the sweet aisle and start looking at the chocolate etc. The father picks up a bag of M&Ms and says to his kids:

"Hey, want some Slim Shadys?"
They give him a funny look. He looks again and notices that they're 2 for Β£1.
"50 Cent for some Eminems? That's Ludacris!"
Cue another look from the kids.
"I'll pay for them though, it's no Biggie."

I'll admit, I chuckled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frippety
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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Cashier at the convenience store asks, "Did you need a sack?"

Dad replies, "Oh, no - we each have our own."

Cashier looks at my dad like a perv while his grin slowly fades back to :[

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabelam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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Anyone: I’m gunna run down to the convenient store and get something to drink.

Dad: you should probably drive, running that far seems like a lot of unnecessary work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shua_mc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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My friend owns a greenhouse...

My friend owns a greenhouse and was trying to drum up sales for valentine's day. She put out a bunch of posters all over town - in the park, outside city hall, and even in a few convenience stores and restaurants. Just about everyone was incredibly helpful and gave her permission. However, the animal sanctuary owner refused outright and asked her to leave. She was very sad, but in the end, she came to understand that...

>!Only zoo can prevent florist fliers.!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FatchRacall
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Where would you least expect an inconvenience?

A convenience store!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomLemonz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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My dad was offered sex for services. (x-post r/funny)

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined because I am a person with high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla at your nearest drug and convenience store. Act now and save 1.50 off your next purchase.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vance524
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2016
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Wife dadjoked me

We stopped at a dollar store to pick up a few items, and I parked in front of the store next to a handicap stall. I noticed the handicap stall was the same width as a regular parking stall, to which I remarked, "That's not really a convenient parking stall as there's no space for the handicap person to maneuver." My wife replied, "Ya, that's not very handy!"

Visual reference http://i.imgur.com/hM8a1kP.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aamir64
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2016
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My Wife Didn't Get It At First

So my wife went in to the local convenience store to get us slushies, I asked for a red one. Here was our conversation when she came out.

Her: I got you Mountain Dew because the red wasn't ready.

Me: So was it bluey?

Her: ...

Me: staring at her with a shit eating grin

Her: Yeah I get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dylanfarnum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2015
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Grocery list dad style

Being the forgetful dad that I am, I wrote a few items I needed from the local convenience store on my hand so I wouldn't forget what all I needed. The young girl at the check out counter saw the list and said, "Nice list there, I do that all the time too." I replied, "yeah you could say its pretty handy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireguzzi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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Overheard a great holiday dad joke this weekend

Customer in front of me: "We're going to smoke a turkey this weekend."

Convenience store clerk: "How are you going to get it into the pipe?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wavemotiondan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2015
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Have you heard the story of the man who ran over himself?

One afternoon a man asked his son if he could run over to the convenience store and pick up a copy of that day's newspaper.

His son said, "Sorry Dad, I'm still finishing up my homework, so I'm busy for a bit."

So the man ran over himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexyghostelepha
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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Had to Buy Some Nail Clippers

I went to the convenience store on my college campus because I needed to get some nail clippers. A girl I knew walked in and this exchange was had after we had started talking:

Me: The only good clippers they had were in this pack with this other body care stuff, do you want any of it?

Girl: Sure, but those are toenail clippers. There are some fingernail clippers over there (very small ones).

Me: I have very thick nails, so those won't cut it.

The look she gave me told me how close she was to groaning.

Edit: Spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntblt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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Don't dad joke a dad joker.

A few weeks ago my wife and I were at a festival called "The Banjo-b-que Fest". On Saturday afternoon we stopped at a convenience store and upon noticing my concert wristband the clerk gave me a smirk and asked "How's the festival, did you eat any good banjos while you were there?" I replied, " I tried one, a bit stringy for my tasty. " His smirk disappeared after that.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2014
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Honestly a Great-Grandfather-in-law joke, but I enjoyed it.

There was this convenience store and the owner had a parrot perched next to the register. The parrot would talk to customers as they walked by and one day a man was walking by and the parrot said "You're the ugliest man I ever saw.". Taken aback, the man said "What did you say?" and the parrot said "You're the ugliest man I ever saw."

The man was outraged. He talked to the owner and said "Do you know what your bird just said to me?"

"No." said the owner.

"He said I was the ugliest man he ever saw."

"I'll give him a talking to." said the owner. "You come back tomorrow and see if things aren't a bit different."

That night the owner takes the parrot and slaps him around some, and tells him not to insult the customers ever again.

So the next day rolls around and the man stops by the store. He walks up to the register and says to the bird "What do you think you're lookin' at?"

The bird says, "You know."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCelsius
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2015
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My dad at a drive through

I remember this from when I was around 12 or so. My dad was in a convenient store drive thru and he was about the 5th car in line. When we finally get to our turn, the cashier says "sorry for the long wait, we had a little traffic jam there". My dad responds "hey, at least people weren't on foot, then you'd have a toe jam".

Ugh...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmc32986
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2015
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I can’t believe some burglars broke into our local convenience store and stole 300 cans of Red Bull.

I don’t know how they can sleep at night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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Where would you least expect an inconvenience?

A convenience store!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomLemonz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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