A list of puns related to "Contractor"
He turned to me and said it's no problem. At this stage it's just a pane.
That escalated quickly.
Aroooooo-f
I figured he was stone-walling me.
When I've never seen a single lieutenant or corporal contractor
He was a stellar cellar seller
Because theyβre always trying to raise the roof.
He said, itβs on the house.
The contractor was adamant that whatever was in the box would not go in the building at any cost. The plumber insisted he was just trying to do his job and that it was imperative that the box go into the master bathroom. The contractor turned him away despite warnings that there would be consequences. Upon hearing this, the owner of the building got angry and hired a new contractor. The new contractor also wouldn't allow the contents of the large box into the building. He was also fired and a new contractor hired. This contractor was a fun person, giving the workers breaks and buying them lunch. Out of fondness, the workers warned him that when plumber comes, he should allow the box to go into the building. So the contractor asked how important the contents of the box were and the workers replied, "Two people have been fired for not listening to the plumber, just let that sink in"
They were charged with re-belling.
Thatβs why they gave me the apostrophe :D
He gave me a blank stair.
"How is the framework coming along Johnny?"
"It's almost done boss!" Said Johnny, beaming.
The first one is looking at the blueprint and finds that the stairs don't have enough space so he consults his supervisor. He shows him the blueprint and the space and says "there's not enough room so we need to change it to be either a ladder or an elevator". The supervisor thinks for a moment and replies "the latter"
He asked me to keep the window upright on the ground so he could measure it. He slid the window open, crawled through it and said, "You don't understand the 'pane' I'm going through."
Me: "Dad, how was work? Did the roofers sign the deal?"
Dad: "We're ceiling the deal tomorrow"
Mom and I: groan
I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.
POETRY!
But the contractor kept cutting corners.
I was in charge of the fencing. The construction site was almost finished, and it was only this and the landscaping remaining. I did the first couple posts, but then I went to lunch, and when I came back, they were gone. I did as much as I could until the day ended, and I went home. I came back the next day, and they were all gone. I decided to speak to the contractor, and when I told him about the posts, he said βOh, yeah. Thereβs tons of reposting on this site.β
The engineers say the contractors didn't build it to specifications. The contractors say the engineers didn't design it right.
All I know is that there are 2 sides to every story.
One time a contractor approached me and asked if I wanted to buy some panzers that his company built.
I considered it for a while but remembered that the air force needed to get new fighter jets.
I turn back to the contractor and say, βsorry, but we just donβt have enough room in the budget. Thanks but no tanks.β
A dependent contractor.
So I know of this one plant. He's a sentient plant, who feels like he needs to move around more than he does (because plants can't move where they're planted on their own), and decided that he needs feet to do so.
So, the plant got a contractor to build him a laboratory around himself. He worked tirelessly for years in hopes of growing a foot he could use, but to no avail. Or, almost no avail.
He managed to finally create SOMETHING, but it wasn't much. All he could get out of all of his experiments and concoctions was a toe. Not even a real toe, a fake one.
So he has now performed...
FAUX-TOE-SYNTHESIS
(say it out loud)
a contractor
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
So my dad was putting an addition onto our house, and I overheard him talking to the contractor. I peeked in to see what was happening, when the contractor pulls out a cross-sectional plan of the addition. Immediately, my dad says, "Whaddup, homeslice?"
The contractor was adamant that whatever was in the box would not go in the building at any cost. The plumber insisted he was just trying to do his job and that it was imperative that the box go into the master bathroom. The contractor turned him away despite warnings that there would be consequences. Upon hearing this, the owner of the building got angry and hired a new contractor. The new contractor also wouldn't allow the contents of the large box into the building. He was also fired and a new contractor hired. This contractor was a fun person, giving the workers breaks and buying them lunch. Out of fondness, the workers warned him that when plumber comes, he should allow the box to go into the building. So the contractor asked how important the contents of the box were and the workers replied, "Two people have been fired for not listening to the plumber, just let that sink in"
I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.
I told my contractor I didn't want carpet on the steps. He gave me a blank stair.
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