My body is conflicted imgur.com/ZIZDLxT
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zvanstoner8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
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A lot of conflicts in the Wild West could have been avoided....

....had the Cowboy architects just made their towns big enough for everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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I have an obsessive compulsion to steal a strategy board game of diplomacy, conflict and conquest...

It's a Risk but I have to take it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Took me a while
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rajeevist
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Islam, Judaism, and Christianity have been in conflict with each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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Today I resolved a conflict between two chicks

That's the first time I made chickpeace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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I just printed a bunch of pamphlets on how to avoid conflicts and not say the wrong thing.

Who wants some?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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I stormed into the library today demanding to know why the book on high conflict personalities I'd ordered still wasn't in.

"It's not our fault" said the librarian,

"That's the one" I replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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What do you call a Sith Lord that avoids conflict?

Darth Evader

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Fake conflict

People keep talking about the Middle East as if it’s an actual place, but I don’t think it Israel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doblanon5short
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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Chaos, subterfuge, and conflict ensued as a giant primate chased everyone off the pier, declaring it his own and invoking his title.

Gorilla wharf heir.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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We should throw durex in conflicts.

We know they gonna blow up anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dancccasf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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Who says a little conflict is bad?

Tension is what keeps my shoulder blades together!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweetinasense
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Why has Japan had so many conflicts and wars?

Because they have lots of animes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zainchupacabra
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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I have lots of Kenny Rogers jokes, but in light of his recent passing, I won't tell them.

You gottta know when to hold 'em.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/REVDR
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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If two countries in Africa were in conflict, reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkborders
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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Putin all jokes Assad, I'm going to watch the Syrian conflict evolve Obama self at home.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oi_peiD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

You’d think it’s β€œRrr,” but it’s really the sea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillCosbyGANG
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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People say making jokes about the Ukraine/ Russia conflict is in poor taste. Well those people can just go Crimea river
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tdenlisoz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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This Holy Land conflict, I can't even...

The struggle Israel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2015
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Conflict of Interest: Romance vs. A Perfectly Executed Dad Joke

So I'm texting a guy I like. There was a miscommunication in text and he thought I called him shampoo. We were teasing each other about it for a minute when he said, "I am insulted."

To which I replied, "No. You are shampoo."

Think he'll still date me?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ctrembs03
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2014
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I don’t know why, but there’s just something about a duck sitting on the roof of a house that makes me mad and makes me laugh, too

This morning there were two, I was quite conflicted. it was a real paradux.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cgvt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I don't think I could ever move to Denmark, too many red flags.

On the other hand the flag is a big plus, so I'm a little conflicted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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What do you call a chicken staring at a head of lettuce?

A chicken sees-a-salad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/van7guard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2016
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If you looked into my medicine cabinet...

...you would assume I have very conflicting views on biotics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterjswift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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You can never argue for very long with an Ent.

They always manage to get to the root of the conflict, instead of beating around the bush.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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I actually submitted my own idea for a Deadpool movie.

He survives through to the 24th century and gets his own ship. He somehow runs afoul of a certain Bajoran captain who used to be a distinguished ensign on the Enterprise, under Captain Picard.

The movie then becomes about their conflict. The response from the studio wasn't kind. They said I should abort the idea. They said it would be too controversial to make a movie about Ro v. Wade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myntrith
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2016
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Two guys were fighting. One with a whisk, the other with a beater.

They were having an eggs utensil conflict

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πŸ‘€︎ u/naking
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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My dad is truly a legend

Tonight after supper:

"What do you call 2 conflicting diagnoses?" Pause "A pair-o-docs!"

I heard him chuckle under his breath.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megannotmeagan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2014
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I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely....

.....if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely...

...if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
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I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely...

...if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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What do you call a Sith Lord that avoids conflict?

Darth Evader

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West...

...could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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