Compelled Puns

He had a complex complex complex.

He looked shad.

Doctor has diagnosed I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

The power of Christ compelled him.

I asked her, “Do those taste good??”

She replied, “No, but the taste is...compelling.”

So I shouted “THE POWER OF FRIES COMPELS YOU!!!”

Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Ophthalmic Outburst.

In short, ACHOO.

i want my money back

She came into my office with a box of highlighters for me and as a dad, I felt compelled to say "thanks, this will be the highlight of my day"

She sighed, groaned, and left, questioning her life choice to work here. :(

Dad: "If your dad has brown eyes and your mom has blue eyes, what's the chance of you having brown eyes?"
Me: "75 percent"
Dad: "And what's the chance your eyes go opposite directions?"
Me: "I don't know..."
Dad: "One in four, because one blue east and one blue west!"

In sitting with our real estate agent the other night, he mentioned "you're good fodder" for proposing us as buyers to the sellers of our (now) newly purchased home.

I responded with "I know I'm a good fodder, but don't forget about the good mudder sitting next to me!"

Wife's instant eye roll and very vocal "ughhh" was enough to compel me to leave this here...