Did you hear of the architect who felt compelled to design overly-engineered buildings?

He had a complex complex complex.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I caught a fish this morning, felt compelled to throw him back

He looked shad.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/U4gotmycheese
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't stop taking money out of every cash machine I walk past...

Doctor has diagnosed I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Jesus cross the road?

The power of Christ compelled him.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skryf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
(Actual exchange) My wife was eating some day-old fries

I asked her, β€œDo those taste good??”

She replied, β€œNo, but the taste is...compelling.”

So I shouted β€œTHE POWER OF FRIES COMPELS YOU!!!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_tell_dad_jokes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Okay, I just learned there's a scientific term for sneezing.

Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Ophthalmic Outburst.

In short, ACHOO.

i want my money back

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I just made my secretary audibly groan.

She came into my office with a box of highlighters for me and as a dad, I felt compelled to say "thanks, this will be the highlight of my day"

She sighed, groaned, and left, questioning her life choice to work here. :(

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToonaTheCat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Studying genetics with my dad

Dad: "If your dad has brown eyes and your mom has blue eyes, what's the chance of you having brown eyes?"
Me: "75 percent"
Dad: "And what's the chance your eyes go opposite directions?"
Me: "I don't know..."
Dad: "One in four, because one blue east and one blue west!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckets41
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Fodder

In sitting with our real estate agent the other night, he mentioned "you're good fodder" for proposing us as buyers to the sellers of our (now) newly purchased home.

I responded with "I know I'm a good fodder, but don't forget about the good mudder sitting next to me!"

Wife's instant eye roll and very vocal "ughhh" was enough to compel me to leave this here...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubstylee43
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.