Coffey Still Puns

How’s your Friday going?

u/johnballen416 I sent this to you via Instagram as well. This is a story about a still unsolved murder in my small town from 1925! There are so many odd things about the story that are hard to believe. Local law enforcement even started to convict the wrong man.

The house where this occurred still stands today.

https://dianastaresinicdeane.wordpress.com/florence-knoblock-murder-story/

I'm in San Diego and the Mission Valley Costco has this gem for $50. Get it while it lasts!

Anyone have any experience with making a Coffey still? Care to share your experience?

There have been rumors of a possible expansion, so let’s imagine it does happen, but the NBA decides to only add one new team to the league (sorry Vegas), bringing back the beloved Seattle Supersonics. The Sonics are back babbyyyyyyyy!

Now the Sonics need to build their team from ground up, starting with the expansion draft, and following it with signing players in the off-season.

Here are some simplified terms of the expansion draft:

1. All 30 NBA teams will have the right to protect 8 players on their roster. Anyone on the current roster is protectable, including restricted free agents. If a restricted free agent is left unprotected by his former team, he is available for selection by the Supersonics, who would then hold his Bird Rights for the up-coming off-season. Teams will typically have 4-7 players unprotected. Unrestricted free agents can neither be protected from nor selected in the expansion draft -- they are essentially ignored.
   Players who are likely to be left unprotected by their former teams include aging, overpaid veterans, unproven bench players, players who do not fit in financially with their team, or who disrupt team chemistry.
2. The Sonics may only select 1 player per team.
3. The Sonics must work within 2/3 of the normal rules of the NBA salary cap, so there will be salary-related restrictions which apply to the team's selections. The team’s salary cap for the 2022-2023 season will only be 2/3 of the league cap (112.414 million), meaning 74.93 million. The minimum team salary is also 2/3 of the leagues' minimum team salary (101.173 million), meaning 67.449 million.
   The expansion draft occurs after the conclusion of the 2022 NBA Finals, but prior to the 2022 NBA Draft. The Sonics do not participate in the lottery, but automatically get the 5th and the 35th pick of the draft.
4. There are no restrictions on player positions during the draft.
5. The Sonics must select at least 14 players.
6. Here is a list of the players that each NBA team are, in my opinion, likely to protect, and a list of those who may be left unprotected (not all players are listed, but most of them, and all that have any chance of being drafted by an expansion team):

Atlanta Hawks:

Protected:

1. Trae Young
2. John Collins
3. Clint Capela
4. Kevin Huerter
5. De’Andre Hunter
6. Onyeka Okongwu
7. Bogdan Bogdanovic
8. Cam Reddish

Unprotected (Salary this year, Years left on the contract)

1. Jalen Johnson (2.6 million, 3 years)

3 straight really good nights, let's continue to keep it rolling! As always, the video is unlisted so no need to like or sub. And if you ever feel like my stuff has made you a better player then I will leave my paypal below!

paypal - tory.langley@yahoocom (can't leave a dot between yahoo and com for auto mod reasons)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQsqAqAkil4

video will be done once processing finishes

Edit: forgot to clarify in the video, LOVE kevin love if ONLY allen is out

Edit: I will not be around for the early slate. I will only be available for the main slate

Edit: guys, no more posting your full lineups. Most of the time when someone does I never really give feedback I just say it looks “x” 99% of the questions asked are for swaps or 1v1s or 2v2s etc… let’s keep it to just that. Anything goes as long as it’s not your full lineup. I will still be giving out a core of 4 as this is completely within TOS. I don’t want any of you getting banned for asking for advice on a full lineup.

Edit: jimmy and lowry in, huge downgrade to everyone. i still like yurtseven but i am probably off the value. lowry himself is fine!

Edit: edwards in, i like him a lot if hes not limited. downgrade to mcdaniels

Edit: Allen probable, love is probably out of play for me

Edit: reggie jackson will play. he is over priced. also a downgrade to the main 3 LAC guys.

Edit: all of you asking me about birch. I don't trust TOR with how many bigs they have available

Edit: current core, toppin, ibaka, dereck white, lebron

Edit: SGA in, im off ty jerome

Edit: wiggins and watson are both starting for OKC. they are playable for value

Edit: with reggie in im probably off winslow and coffey

Edit: i think yurtseven and martin are still viable fair values

Edit: nwaba starting. playable for value but tate is still there

Edit: toppin starting. hes a must

Edit: allen in and starting. im off love

Edit: ingles out, i think gay looks like a really solid option

Edit: with kemba now out, i think quickley looks great

Edit: mcbride starting over quickley. i like him. quickley isn't a must now

Edit: guys, quickley still looks really good. i just wouldn't be suprised if he only plays 20 minutes

Edit: forrest starting for conley. i still think gay is decent value

Edit: no night or SD tonight for me boys

Edit: not playing night but ill give a core, lebron, reid, gay, dame

Edit: told yall. thibs is a fucking troll.

happy new year everyone! hope you guys are having a great time! Missed the cash tonight because of a basement dame game.... REDACTED!!!!!!!!!! As always, the video is unlisted so do not like or sub. And if you ever feel like my stuff has made you a better player then I will leave my paypal below!

paypal - tory.langley@yahoocom (can't leave a dot between yahoo and com for auto mod reasons)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZpwy9y1Pmo

video will be done once processing is done

Edit: let me clarify, i think campazzo is a really solid play even if gordon and rivers are in. barton would be fine still to. would just prefer them to be out

Edit: ignore that core in the video. new core for now is, campazzo, barton, jokic, garza

Edit: yo if any of you guys look at ownership projections, can you let me know what Cassius Stanley is popping up at?

Edit: regarding diallos price, reason I want to bring this up is a lot of people are going to look at that and absolutely puke in there mouths. I did at first to, but with no frank jackson I think the price is warranted and appropriate. I’m not saying lock in diallo, I’m just saying with him being blowout proof and playing 40+ minutes a game and dominating the usage with bey, the price is definitely about right

Edit: tre jones starting, love him

Edit: kennard out, love love marcus morris

Edit: we need this 5th starter for the spurs, if vassell somehow starts i love him

Edit: with kennard out i think winslow and coffey look like playable value. coffey being my favorite

Edit: updated core, tre jones, garza, jokic, campazzo

Edit: aaron gordon on track to play

Edit: vassell starting. love him

Edit: morris out, if u have morris just go to tate or mann.

Edit: no night slate for me

Edit: ight guys, ill be back later

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

We're about halfway into the season and I hope your fantasy NBA teams are doing well, despite the challenges this season has put in front of us.

In case you found yourself struggling, don't be discouraged but look to take advantage of the situation. Streaming is more powerful than ever with all the absences and new guys getting a ton of minutes. So if you've got a guy at the back end of your roster not living up to your standards, don't hold on too tight. A streaming spot or two could be worth a lot more.

Here are the fantasy basketball streamers for Week 12.

One word before we go deep into next week. I've been getting some amazing replies to my posts in the past few weeks, and thank you guys so much for this!

I just wanted to let you know that the whole RotoBaller crew is working hard to help fantasy GMs out, and there is a ton of quality stuff on plenty of topics on our website, so if you're looking for information about something else as well, you can probably find it here: https://www.rotoballer.com/category/nba-fantasy-basketball-advice

NBA Schedule Guide - Week 12

Tuesday with five and Thursday with four games will be the most difficult for fantasy owners to have a full starting lineup. Saturday follows them with six games. We will focus on these three days.

Here's the low-down:

Teams with 5 games:

Memphis Grizzlies

Teams with 4 games:

Atlanta Hawks

Brooklyn Nets

Dallas Mavericks

Denver Nuggets

Detroit Pistons

Golden State Warriors

Houston Rockets

Los Angeles Clippers

Milwaukee Bucks

Minnesota Timberwolves

New Orleans Pelicans

Orlando Magic

Portland Trail Blazers

Sacramento Kings

San Antonio Spurs

Toronto Raptors

Utah Jazz

Washington Wizards

Teams with 3 games:

Boston Celtics

Charlotte Hornets

Chicago Bulls

Cleveland Cavaliers

Indiana Pacers

Los Angeles Lakers

Miami Heat

New York Knicks

Oklahoma City Thunder

Philadelphia 76ers

Phoenix Suns

Number of teams playing each day:

Monday: 20

Tuesday: 10

Wednesday: 22

Thursday: 8

Friday: 18

Saturday: 12

Sunday: 20

Back-to-Backs (beware of older or banged-up players who might rest):

Monday/Tuesday: MEM, NOP

Tuesday/Wednesday: IND, SAC, SAS, TOR

Wednesday/Thursday: BOS, DET, GSW

Thursday/Friday: -

Friday/Saturday: MIL, UTA

If you want to see the report; go to this Bleacher Report article - and there’s an embedded link in within the highlighted word “release” that will take you into the official report so you can see for yourself.

Now, here’s my thoughts on this as a Wizards fan. Personally, and I don’t speak for the whole fan base, I’m glad they called that foul and we lost. I typically watch the games on TV and it’s so much harder to pick up on small things going on at the game but I went to this game in person and made the trek to DC. The game was a mess and we deserved this L.

First half the Wizards looked like they came to play and the Clippers looked checked out from the minute they stepped on the court. We came out firing and it looked like it was going to be a crazy blowout, which, it really was at a point. The 35 point lead was the second biggest deficit overcome in NBA history behind the Jazz in 1996.. and it’s pretty inexcusable.

So, what did I notice? The Wizards came out of halftime thinking they had the game in the bag. The body language on the players, the bench, the crowd of the game - it looked to be over. Our players effort dropped to the bare minimum while the Clippers, and in particular Coffey, played like the score was 0-0. Credit to Ty Lue for keeping his players in the game.. I actually remember looking over at the bench and seeing Batum clapping to hype up his team despite the growing deficit. We deserved this loss and the atmosphere in the arena after the loss was so much different than you’d expect.. most fans actually seemed kind of unsurprised. We knew the Wizards could blow this game and it went exactly how it looked to be headed the minute halftime ended.

So, looking back, I don’t really care what the report says. The game shouldn’t have been this close to begin with and any Wizards fan mad about this has to take a look at the team and realize we were outplayed in the second half like we were a youth league team. Embarrassing loss but changes need to be made and I still love the Wizards. Just wanted to share my thoughts lol.

Fantasy Basketball week 14 preview

Schedule analysis

Teams with 4 games:

• ATL, BOS, BKN, CHA, CHI, DAL, DET, GSW, IND, LAC, LAL, MEM, MIA, MIL, NYK, OKC, ORL, PHI, POR, SAS, TOR, UTA, WAS (23 TEAMS)

Teams with 3 games:

• CLE, DEN, MIN, PHO (4 TEAMS)

Teams with 2 games:

• HOU, NOP, SAC (3 TEAMS)

Number of Teams playing each day:

M - 24

T - 4

W - 26

TH - 6

F - 22

SA - 6

SU - 22

Back-to-Backs:

M/T: NYK

T/W: DET, MIN

W/TH: DAL, IND

TH/F: GSW

F/SA: MIL, OKC

SA/SU: N/A

SU/M: CHI, NYK, UTA

Low volume game days:

T - 2 Games

TH - 3 Games

SU - 3 Games

Teams who play on low volume game days:

New York Knicks (4 games on M, T, TH, SU)

Golden State Warriors (4 games on T, TH, F, SU)

Indiana Pacers (4 games on M, W, TH, SA)

Phoenix Suns (3 games on M, TH, SA)

Dudes We’re Writing About this Week:

Amir Coffey (31% rostered on Yahoo and 4% rostered ESPN)

• The Clippers have back to back four game weeks
• Coffey has been stepping into a larger role lately. In his eight games this month, Coffey has averaged 30.5 minutes per game with a 14.9% usage rate
• He is only taking 8.6 shots per game, but is proving to be a multiple category contributor
• Over those eight games in January, he has averaged 12.8 pts, 5 rbs, 3.4 asts, and 0.9 stls a game
• He has at least five rebounds in six of those eight games and multiple assists in six of those games
• With the PG injury potentially being season ending Coffey could be in line to see huge minutes for the rest of the season, even if PG comes back coach Ty Lue said that either Coffey or Batum would likely stay in the starting lineup

Trey Lyles (23% rostered Yahoo and 2% rostered ESPN)

• With the Bol Bol trade being called off due to Bol not passing his physical, the Pistons remain very short handed in the frontcourt at the moment. There has been quite a bit of opportunity for some veteran leadership and contributions from Lyles over the past few weeks.
• The 26-year-old has scored in double digit points in eight of his past nine games, averaging 15.1 pts, 6.9 rbs, 1.9 asts, and 1.0 blks in 27 mpg
• He started three of those games, but he has also shown he can have an impact coming off the bench which is a decent sign because Kelly Olynyk could be coming back this week
• Lyles has increased his to 22.5% over the last 10 games. I believe this to be sustainable

Marvin Bagley III (32% rostered Yahoo and 40% rostered ESPN)

• This is definitely more of a longer term pick up r

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Hey everyone! After a jam packed Monday, I took some time to highlight a few players who you can probably find on your wire (depending on how big your league is). I write content like this for a daily fantasy basketball email. If you'd like to read more content like this and subscribe to our daily emails, visit thedailyassist.com.

We're all trying to catch lightning in a bottle at this point in the season. It's always hard to know who is on your wire or not, but here's our best guess at who might be available for you.

Ayo Dosunmu - SG (CHI): Ayo has been cookin' for the short-handed Bulls recently. He kept it rolling on Monday finishing with 15 points, 10 rebounds, 6 assists, 5 steals, 2 blocks, and 1 three. The Bulls will be getting Caruso and LaVine back soon, which will limit his role a bit but the Bulls still need to shore up some positions. Ayo could be a sneaky add as he's put up back-to-back double doubles.

Chris Duarte - SG (IND): A blast from the "past"? Duarte flashed the explosiveness we saw from him earlier in the season on Monday, finishing with 24 points, 7 rebounds, 6 assists, 3 steals, and 2 three's. We think Duarte is still a hold with Brogdon (achilles) out, and change on the horizon for the Pacers.

De'Andre Hunter - SF (ATL): Another 20-point burger for De'Andre Hunter, which is great to see after his return to the starting lineup. Now with Reddish gone, there's some more opportunity for Hunter to shine. He's logged 3 games with 30+ minutes, hopefully there's more of that to come. He finished with 20 points, 9 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 block, and 2 three's.
Goga Bitadze - C (IND): This is a deep one, but with trade rumors swirling in Indiana and Turner seeking a 2nd opinion for his foot injury - you've heard crazier things here. Goga finished with 17 points, 8 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 blocks and nailed both his free throws.

Amir Coffey - SG (LAC): Coffey has scored in double digits in 4 of his last 5 games, logging 26+ minutes in each contest. Like we said previously, someone has to score for the injured Clippers and they're getting some major help from some unlikely gems. Coffey finished with 16 points, 7 assists, 3 rebounds, 1 steal, 1 block, and 3 three's. We're sure Kennard returning to the lineup might shake some things up, but it shouldn't because Coffey is better.

Kessler Edwards - SF (BKN): Now without Kevin Durant for a few weeks, and still

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Welcome back to all our supporters around the world, we hope you had a relaxing break and are safe and well, and if you are getting ready for the lunar new year then please enjoy the celebrations.

A new year brings with it time to reflect upon 2021 and look forward to many new opportunities. We are pleased to be able to share with you today some of the things to be getting excited about in 2022 as we gear up for the year of the Goat!

If you’re new to us, stop reading for a moment and check out our “Why support AquaGoat” post here first.

https://community.aquagoat.finance/t/just-found-aquagoat-welcome-start-here-and-learn-all-about-us/88

So, to 2022. An overarching project goal is to widen our ocean of influence and attract new supporters to our young project. To do this we need to reduce the barriers to entry and attract new segments of supporters, here’s the plan….

Buy button and credit card gateway

To enable this we are working with a company who is building for us a user-friendly and simplified crypto-to-crypto gateway enabling a much simpler way of supporting our cause linked directly from our website.

The second phase of this buy button work is where it gets really exciting, as we will be adding support for fiat transfer (cold hard cash and credit card payments!)

Why? — This work will open up AquaGoat to previously unreachable, less savvy but equally enthusiastic potential supporters who will be able to join us without friction or technical knowledge.

When? — We have a 2–3 month lead time for this work but it has already commenced. We will keep you fully informed of progress.

Bitrue has completed the contract swap!

After some issues, the exchange Bitrue has completed the contract swap, and we are pleased to say that trading is now live!

NFT opportunities and Market Development

In all our recent external conversations, the subject of NFT’s has been a hot topic and we are involved in many discussions with companies and individuals about how AquaGoat can help them develop and monetise NFT’s. We are following a lot of these up and exploring the best.

Report from the Miss Earth Pageant in January

Goats will be aware that AquaGoat was the headlining sponsor of this year’s Miss Earth pageant that just completed, we had our brand proudly on display at the event and our TV commercials were running on the VIP TV Channel available on AppleTV, Roku and Fire.

You can watch the raw footage of #AquaGoat’s red carpet interview at the. fi

Mathematical puns makes me number

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.