Coffee Shop Puns

I saw this guy with the same cup as me and chased him down the street. Finally caught up with him and realized...that’s not my cup of tea

...is run by a bunch of has-beans.

It was used as grounds for dismissal.

Sun: "Oh man, I forgot my wallet!" Moon: "Don't worry, I'll cover you."

One is a groundskeeper, while the other is a grounds keeper.

The man frowns. “What do you mean it’s a secret? What’s the special today? Is it a latte?”

The barista shakes her head.

“A mocha?”

She shakes her head again.

“Oh, come on! Tell me! A cappuccino?”

She shakes her head.

“An affogato?”

She shakes her head.

The man is getting frustrated at this point. “Can you at least give me a clue!?”

The barista thinks for a moment, then points at a jar on the counter. “Ok, the special is in this jar.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”

The man, enraged at this point, tries to grab the jar.

The barista grabs it too.

They fight for control and the man wretches it away only for the jar to fall on the ground and its contents spill out onto the floor.

The man stares, “It’s just been normal coffee this whole time?!”

The barista shrugs, “I guess you spilled the beans.”

Ordered a pumpkin spice coffee:

Barista when it's ready: "Pumpkin?"

Me: "What did you just call me?"

Dead silence.

I guess some little boy fell asleep.

Stay Woke

It’d only be a scone’s throw away

Dim Horton!!

I guess you could call it a double double.

Dad: we'll get a black coffee, a hot chocolate, and a green tea. Drive through attendant: would you like anything in the green tea? Dad: no, just green.

He was hunting star bucks.

I'm the baker in the back so every now and then I go bother the barista.

Me: Hey can you make a drink for me?
Her: Sure what did you want?
Me: Two shots of espresso and some steamed milk. Her: A latte?
Me: No just a little.

Cashier told me: "It's $4.05". I looked at my watch and said, "No, it's 8:45."

It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier...

My dad asked if he could get an additional discount since they are now year old pastries.

It was quite a brew ha ha.

Clooney: “I’ll direct.”

DiCaprio: “I’ll act.”

McConaughey: “I’ll write, I’ll write, I’ll write.”

Because they thought it was Lieutenant Starbuck's place.

When asked if he had plans for Thanksgiving, he replied with "We're planning on having it on Thursday."

When asked if he had took American Express, he replied with "Yeah, but we don't keep it for long."

Sitting at the coffee shop on campus when I catch this gem: Daughter: I need to be studying for exams but I keep procrastinating Dad: You know I once tried to write a book about procrastinating, I never finished it

He said he had tried the new Costa (a UK equivalent to Starbucks) in town. I asked him what it was like, having not visited it myself and he simply replied "It Costa fortune"

Boss: "Yeah, we got a new espresso machine last week" Me: "Was the old one shot to death?" Groans ensued

me: I think ill have an iced coffee

Dad: well you wouldn't want a MEAN coffee would you?

-_▪ thanks dad.