What do you call a coffee shop runned by birds?

Nest-CafΓ©

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PorkyPain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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So, I was in a coffee shop drinking tea, and when I reached down to tie my shoe, my tea was gone!

I saw this guy with the same cup as me and chased him down the street. Finally caught up with him and realized...that’s not my cup of tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwwwwwwYeahhhhhhh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Every coffee shop you've ever visited...

...is run by a bunch of has-beans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/overachievingogre
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.

It was used as grounds for dismissal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turbodeeznuts
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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The Sun and Moon walked into a coffee shop today...

Sun: "Oh man, I forgot my wallet!" Moon: "Don't worry, I'll cover you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seems_legit_man
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
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What's the difference between someone who works in landscaping and someone who steals from a coffee shop?

One is a groundskeeper, while the other is a grounds keeper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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A guy walks into a coffee shop, goes the counter and asks, β€œSo what’s the special?” The barista shakes her head, β€œI can’t tell you, it’s a secret.”

The man frowns. β€œWhat do you mean it’s a secret? What’s the special today? Is it a latte?”

The barista shakes her head.

β€œA mocha?”

She shakes her head again.

β€œOh, come on! Tell me! A cappuccino?”

She shakes her head.

β€œAn affogato?”

She shakes her head.

The man is getting frustrated at this point. β€œCan you at least give me a clue!?”

The barista thinks for a moment, then points at a jar on the counter. β€œOk, the special is in this jar.”

β€œWhat is it?”

β€œI can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”

The man, enraged at this point, tries to grab the jar.

The barista grabs it too.

They fight for control and the man wretches it away only for the jar to fall on the ground and its contents spill out onto the floor.

The man stares, β€œIt’s just been normal coffee this whole time?!”

The barista shrugs, β€œI guess you spilled the beans.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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I had a dad joke moment today at the coffee shop. Didn't go well.

Ordered a pumpkin spice coffee:

Barista when it's ready: "Pumpkin?"

Me: "What did you just call me?"

Dead silence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tswaves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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So apparently there was a kidnapping at my local coffee shop..

I guess some little boy fell asleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MStack1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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Best name for a progressive coffee shop?

Stay Woke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/merphy90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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I was tossing around ideas for a neighborhood coffee shop...

It’d only be a scone’s throw away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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I worked two shifts at the coffee shop yesterday and another two shifts today.

I guess you could call it a double double.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgirl995996
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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What do you call a Canadian coffee shop with the lights off?

Dim Horton!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WonderGamer6
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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This coffee shop's blackboard imgur.com/1G21z6P
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eggs_The_Adman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2016
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So my dad took my sister and I through a coffee shop drive through...

Dad: we'll get a black coffee, a hot chocolate, and a green tea. Drive through attendant: would you like anything in the green tea? Dad: no, just green.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayasunshine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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Orion recently fired his bow into a coffee shop.

He was hunting star bucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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So I work at a coffee shop in Manhattan

I'm the baker in the back so every now and then I go bother the barista.

Me: Hey can you make a drink for me?
Her: Sure what did you want?
Me: Two shots of espresso and some steamed milk. Her: A latte?
Me: No just a little.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrianKid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2015
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Got some dark looks at the coffee shop for this one

Cashier told me: "It's $4.05". I looked at my watch and said, "No, it's 8:45."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewitt1093
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2015
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I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi...

It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
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At the coffee shop they sell day old pastries at a discount

My dad asked if he could get an additional discount since they are now year old pastries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craiginator8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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A very sad coffee shop. imgur.com/6e8OQqR
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MKiller51
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2017
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A lot of people were laughing at the coffee shop this morning.

It was quite a brew ha ha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2017
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George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Mathew McConaughey are in a coffee shop to discuss a new movie:

Clooney: β€œI’ll direct.”

DiCaprio: β€œI’ll act.”

McConaughey: β€œI’ll write, I’ll write, I’ll write.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ksloop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2018
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Why did the Cylons invade the coffee shop?

Because they thought it was Lieutenant Starbuck's place.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mouringcat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
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From the barista at a coffee shop

When asked if he had plans for Thanksgiving, he replied with "We're planning on having it on Thursday."

When asked if he had took American Express, he replied with "Yeah, but we don't keep it for long."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryancardiff
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
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Dad jokes at the coffee shop

Sitting at the coffee shop on campus when I catch this gem: Daughter: I need to be studying for exams but I keep procrastinating Dad: You know I once tried to write a book about procrastinating, I never finished it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nimmems
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2014
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Dad visits a coffee shop on his way home

He said he had tried the new Costa (a UK equivalent to Starbucks) in town. I asked him what it was like, having not visited it myself and he simply replied "It Costa fortune"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/laggsurfer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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Got my boss at the coffee shop

Boss: "Yeah, we got a new espresso machine last week" Me: "Was the old one shot to death?" Groans ensued

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tim_the_Tool_Man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2015
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Coffee shop with dad

me: I think ill have an iced coffee

Dad: well you wouldn't want a MEAN coffee would you?

-_β–ͺ thanks dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vengefultaco12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2013
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