TIL A Ben and Jerry's employee fell into the chocolate coating vat last year

The company held a press conference to announce he's been completely covered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fileobrother
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
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Did you hear about the mailman who was taking the mail, coating it in patΓ©, and sticking it in his underpants?

... It was undie livered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spankleberry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
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Where does Santa keep his coat?

In the Clause-it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skrugzalicious
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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The wife has a new Ewok fur coat.

She looks totally wicket in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeepon728
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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What do you call a swat officers coat?

A brooch and clear

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Albert Einstein's COAT of the day
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSujith_16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I was going to buy my kid this winter coat we saw at the mall, but I couldn't afford it.

So I had to jacket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLL_Motives
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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What kind of coat does a house wear?

A coat of paint

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pickle_mateo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Today I went out searching for shredded coconut coated in chocolate.

They call me The Bounty Hunter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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You really should be careful not to leave your coat laying around.

You never know when someone might jack it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2shack
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur who is easy to clean, heat resistant and long lasting?

py-rex

I'll get my coat...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/byte_marx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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I saw a woman wearing a coat made out of animal pelts.

I was like, "Fur real?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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I’d say something sweet about the new Jacket I got for Christmas..

But I don’t want to sugar coat it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/inspectorPK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Sad to report the death of the founder of Dulux paint. He died this morning from hypothermia on top of a mountain.

It's been reported he could have done with another coat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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2 hats

2 hats are hanging out at the coat rack at a popular restaurant. 1 says to the other. " you should hang out. I'm gonna go on a head. "

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I looked rather dapper in my pants, coat and tie, if I don't say so myself!

The clothes suited me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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My kid just got fired from his coat check job.

He couldn’t get the hang of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Coat of arms
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dee_Lansky
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Coat of Arms
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwordOfCheese
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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There once was a man who would buy tons of buckets of roofing sealant, change the label then resell them.

Sometimes he would simply rename the brand. Sometimes he would name it a different product entirely. In a few horrific instances he repackaged it as food products. Eventually he was found, arrested, and brought to court. And though he admitted to doing all those things, he insisted that he had done nothing illegal and that moreover, his actions were protected by the law and the Constitution. His reasoning?

"I have the right to rename sealant!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicukulele
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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What does a painter do when he gets cold?

He puts on another coat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/no1krampus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur who stalks its prey by cunning stealth?

Nobodysaurus

...I'll get my coat (again)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/byte_marx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What do you call three cats standing on top of each other, wearing a trench coat, pretending to be human? reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/man_nowhere
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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What do you call three cats standing on top of each other, wearing a trench coat, pretending to be human?

A purrson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/man_nowhere
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Buttoning up my little daughter's coat one day, it hit me ....

Being a parent really is fastenating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Two elderly women were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. One woman has a stroke.

The other couldn’t reach.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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β€œThe Queen is coming. Please wear your family coat of arms.”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
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Did you hear about the lady who bought a fur coat?

She wanted to be the miss in lynx

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkJizo-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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Why do brown bears have fur coats? ...

β€˜Cos they’d look silly in anoraks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chuck_elliottJr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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How do you steal a coat?

You Jacket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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How do you steal a coat

You jacket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/got_nohandz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket 😎

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otterz4Life
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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How do you steal a coat?

You jack it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-random-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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What does a house wear?

β€œAddress”

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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How do you steal a coat?

You JACKET!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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What kind of coat does a house wear?

A coat of paint

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldgenmemelord
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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How do you steal a coat?

You jacket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Why do bears have hairy coats?

Fur protection!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrygodjd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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