My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Mom said split the chores, well. . .

"I am Iron Man"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebatm3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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What do you call chores you do at a church?

Emmanuel labor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crysalis8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What’s a pervert’s favorite chore?

To do the dishes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Blobfish123_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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What does a Turkish kid say to his mom when he needs to do chores in the summer:

I dont’t wanna do it, it’s sho warm ma!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joepeR2086
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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A farmer’s convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.

He was out on bale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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"I need to go out for a while, Amelia Bedelia. Can you do this list of chores?" Said Mr. Rogers.

Amelia Bedelia looked over the list. "Okey-dokey!" Said Amelia Bedelia.

When Mr. Rogers came home, he saw Amelia Bedelia stuffing sawdust into his secret marijuana stash.

Mr. Rogers was furious. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, AMELIA BEDELIA?!"

"You said to cut the grass."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_-Aven-_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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Hey Google, Have you watched Star Chores?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonnAwesome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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"Why do you keep telling me to do chores when I'm watching Star Wars?"

"Look, I am your father"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikhilbhavsar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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Do you know which chore sucks?

Vacuuming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerlickyourbum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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What is a favorite chore for gay farmers?

Moving "HHhhhAAaaaYYYYyy" bales

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYC_Dweller
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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My daughter was whining about her chores.

She asked if she needed to vacuum the whole apartment. I said, "no, just do the floor."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mortoray
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2016
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My daughter wants the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she can have one if she gets good grades, does her chores and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone because

It's my way, or the Huawei

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmak13
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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Dad: Thanks for doing your chores Emily, unlike some children who will remain unnamed

Son: tears welling up please give me a name dad I'm almost 17

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackson160
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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As a parent, I don't think I'll be able to give my children the chore of making their beds. I never made my own bed, it was just too time consuming and frustrating.

I'll most likely just buy them a bed instead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jdabby32
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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My sister just asked me to help do some chores, but I refused.

I said, β€œI can’t be your brother and assister too.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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Chores at Valley Forge?

George had 2000 lbs of Laundry to do. That's a washing-ton!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mftuchman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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Which dinosaur never procrastinates before finishing its chores?

The Prontosaurus.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
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Tomorrow is going to be chore, that's why they call it the fewchore
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fefealzueta
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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Chores - Cyanide & Happiness Minis youtu.be/IAI88SA5u94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/destructdisc
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
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I never write down the chores my wife gives me...

I keep my honey-do list in my melon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rapscallion25
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2017
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So I'm telling my son to do his chores...

This happened about 5 minutes ago; Dad: Son, go out and scoop the poop. See that crap over there? Yeah, the dog pooped on the deck, so get it all.

Son: (with a smirk on his face) So it's the poop deck? Hahahaha!!

We all laughed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TangoWhiskey80
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
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Every Single time I did my chores as a kid and got to picking up dog poop.

"Ryan!" ........ "Yes Dad?" " Its not a Chore, its a dooty"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rstates
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2013
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Dad: "Which chore do you want to do?"

Me: "What are my options" Dad:"The litter box or the dishes" Me: "the shitty one"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusinessManNeal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
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What was the 1st President of America's favorite chore? self
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArcaniteChill
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2014
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Doing chores..

So the other day my mom asked me to vacuum the house. A few minutes later, my dad asked me to help him with something in the attic. I said hold on I have to vacuum.

Dad: "Oh, that sucks"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C11Scriber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2013
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