β€œRigor mortis” should be renamed β€œdie hard”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tooting-Orca
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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After years of rigorous scientific research, I've finally managed to make an identical clone of myself!

I'm beside myself!

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2016
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What do you call an embarrassed cadaver?

Rigor mortified.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Galvanion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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What do you call it when a dead turtle goes stiff?

Rigor tortoise

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnosticpopsicle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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I was watching my friends in the endgame of a chess match

I told them β€œI hope this doesn’t turn out like Rigor Mortis of an Australian friend.”

β€œWhat?”

β€œI hope this isn’t a stale mate.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyredox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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The 3 rings of marriage

I'm going through a bunch of job interviews now. So my Dad was talking to me about the rigors of growing up and eventually getting married.

Dad: "That's all part of growing up, soon you will have to go through the 3 rings of marriage." a smirk grows on his face

Me: "What are those?"

Dad: "Engagement ring, wedding ring, and then suffering."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smellyjimsock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2014
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