Snowman family be chilling out here.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
There are 4 lizards chilling in the ceiling, one of them did a back flip. How many are left in the ceiling?

None, as the rest clapped and cheered.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jumpman707
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Two dudes chilling in a hot tub 5 feet apart cause they're

Responsible

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcharlesboyle
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
One night, a beekeeper was chilling on his couch with some booze.

"Honey, pass me another can of beer!", the beekeeper bellowed.

His wife went to check the fridge for beer but alas, there was none left.

"Dear, our supplies have run dry!"

The beekeeper then replied, "Sweetie, please pass me the honey can."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrayCon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Thor mad at the guy quietly chilling at the other side of the bar?

He was too low key.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/divB_is_zero
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad told me he had chilling news.

He said the cryoablation on his prostate was a success!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sunfistkid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Chill out
πŸ‘︎ 432
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MustardCopper
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Man needsta chill
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AngusNeedsALife
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife loves it when I blow cold air on her when she's too hot..

Personally I'm not a fan.

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Watching the movie ' Grease ' to take my mind off some vaccine side effects, however..

I got chills..they're multiplying.

πŸ‘︎ 109
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Fridge noise

Our refrigerator makes a hissing noise when the freezer is defrosting. Yesterday my son said, β€œThe fridge stopped hissing at me.”

I said, β€œI think it’s finally accepted you as a member of the pack. You’re officially cool.”

He turned away from me so I wouldn’t see him laughing. I count it as a win.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My twins give me chills, dehydration, fatigue, fever, loss of appetite, and extreme diarrhea.

Their names are Sam and Ella.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why call it Netflix and Chill..

.. when you can call it β€˜Nutflix’ already

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Suck_Some
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A chemist froze himself to -273.15Β°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,

I think he was 0K

πŸ‘︎ 19k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Niyi_M
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a snow man take when he's feeling bad?

A chill pill.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iWilburnYou
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
🚨︎ report
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.

He said, β€œI’m turning off the heating.”

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
USPS has no chill
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NickStepanek
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
So my hotel just tried to charge me ten extra dollars for air conditioning..

That wasn’t cool.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TylerDurdenSEA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I got you a refrigerator for your birthday.

I can’t wait to see your face light up when you open it.

πŸ‘︎ 588
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ColonelESanders
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I woke up suddenly terrified I'm late for work.

I opened my eyes and chilled.....I'm at work.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Screw Netflix and chill

How about Hulu and do you? πŸ’€

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Premystic
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do chilled Redditors get more upvotes than angry Redditors?

Because they’re karma.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his testicles in glitter?

Yea, it was pretty nuts.

πŸ‘︎ 510
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ihateotherpeople
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
An actual conversation with work friends

We’re sitting in the chill out area at work and there’s an old Metallica guitar Tab book near us.

One of the girls says β€œThat book smells like the 90’s”.

A guy laughs and says β€œWhat does the 90’s smell like?”

I say β€œTeen Spirit!”

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/r1pen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Net fix and chill imgur.com/q3wWcDu
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/digdilem
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Just want to Netflix and chill out while watching some...
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/masonsnow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
my friend moved into an igloo

everything was going well until the housewarming party

πŸ‘︎ 466
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Antartica is pretty scary...

Just thinking about it gives me chills.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/04foxtrot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is electricity always so chilled out?

It’s down to earth

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coolfin360
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night

Turns out it was just saturday night fever

(Taking advantage of a very narrow humour window!)

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoAdenine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?

Chill out.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/civicbro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Chilled for your pleasure
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/disc_er
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do snowmen call their offspring?

Chill-dren

πŸ‘︎ 189
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
So, chill
πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A chemist froze himself at -273.15Β°C

Everyone thought he was crazy but he was 0K

Taken from u/HassanMehdi on r/technicallythetruth

πŸ‘︎ 466
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bruinsfan011
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife loves her car, and I trust her driving, but she just has no chill.

That's why we take my car during the summer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/truejamo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Net fix and chill
πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pottsie03
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my Dad to Chill,, and he said, "I'm Chill"

And i said, "I thought You Were Dad".

I Dad Joked My Dad.

I'M THE REVOLUTION

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrianGarfield
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone told me to be chill out

But the heating was on

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/olordhelp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My heater won't stop running,

I swear it has no chill.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porkeria21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Caveman and Cavewoman do for weekend chill out.. ?

.. Went out Clubbin'

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas.

Can't wait to see his face light up, when he opens it.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a plan to chill myself to -273.15 Celsius - My friends say I'm crazy...

...But I think I'll be 0K.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paul_caspian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Somebody needed to vent
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brandondsantos
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Cool pun
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yamishta
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife loves it that I blow cold air on her when she's too hot...

Personally, I'm not a fan.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad told me something last night that gave me the chills.

He said, β€œI’m turning off the heating.”

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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