My chat full of childless Dad's were on a roll
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wronkey360
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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I'm a childless woman but it's a dad joke nonetheless.

A friend was describing some friends of his-

"They're the sweetest. Met on Broadway, have the most adorable son, Cayman..."

Me, "like the island?"

Him, "well yes, but he's named after his dad's father."

Me, "that would be, Grand Cayman, right?"

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ‘€︎ u/whiskey_garter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2017
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Childless uncle jokes

Uncle observes "no smoking" sign.

He's a smoker.

Pulls out two cigarettes.

I remind him he can't smoke.

Puts a cigarette in each nostril, turns to me and says;

"nose smoking"

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ‘€︎ u/horrible_jokes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
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Just because I'm a childless female doesn't mean I can't dad joke.

Background: My SO and I were at a flea market in LA the other day where there were food trucks scattered about. The one we chose to eat at specialized in grilled cheese (my favorite food). They had a sign saying they would cater special events... I asked how far of a radius they would travel. Cheese Griller: We actually have a few trucks between here and Texas. Me: None in North Carolina? Cheese Griller: Nope. Me: Well... are you looking for any francheesors?

SO immediately disowned me and walked away.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/lliz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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Only 18 and childless, but I'm on my way to being a dad.

My young brother has opening day ceremonies for baseball today, and while getting ready he couldn't find his cup, he was asking around Of any saw it. I told him to look in the kitchen as we have ton of extras. Needless to say I got a collective groan from my family. I've never felt more proud in my life

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/BootyMasterJon
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2014
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What do you call Donald Glover with no kids?

Childless Gambino

πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ‘€︎ u/meltedpickless
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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Dad-dom has already started...

27, single, childless With a group of friends about to ride a rollercoaster. I notice that the ride attendants name tag says "DeJa"... and I can feel the dad within me take over.

The ride was fun, we were in the first row... DeJa cheerily welcomes us back into the station, and I, without control of myself, exclaim "OMG it's DeJa, again!" Pause 1 second Entire cart groans in unison.

She convincingly said she had "never heard that one before", but it might have just been expert-level sarcasm.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfouzer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
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Working at a restaurant, always have a few jokes up my sleeve.

Working as a waiter, I have a couple of wonderful/awful/wonderfully awful jokes when customers place an order. For example...

"Can I please have the rabbit pasta?"

"Oh I'm not sure I'd recommend that, there have been numerous complaints about a hare in their food."

And for the steaks...

"How would you like that cooked?"

"Well done."

"Thanks, but I'm just doing my job."

I either get laughs, confused looks or groans; most of the time I get a combination of the three. But since I'm childless (19 seems a tad young) I have to get my dad jokes out somehow.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
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What does your child do?

Friend: My child sings the Beatles, what does yours do? Me: Currently, he/she just swims mostly.

I'm single and childless. I really couldn't resist.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/ash109114
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2015
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