I asked him if they just sit around teaching him dad jokes at dad school.
"No they just have us fill out a form. But my form is perfect."
As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.
Dad : "NO!! Why the hell would I chose you?"
Daughter: "I was adopted?"
Dad: "You were adorable as a baby!"
Daughter: "Oh!!"
Dad: "That's why we adopted you. "
“Get a long, little doggy.”
He called it Ma.
The lady at the vet: “what’s his name?”
Me: “The shelter told me his name is Toby”
Her: “Well, what does he think his name is?”
Me: “........ Kunte Kinte”
She didn’t get it. Once in a lifetime joke wasted.
He wanted to get a long little doggie
And that I'd be meeting my new parents that afternoon.
After spending a few days at a detective convention, they come home to find their house burned to the ground. "What do you think caused this?" One asked the other. The other just sighed and replied "It was most likely ourson (arson)."
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t, either.
That way he can spend all day saying “Come, Stay”, “Go, Stay”, “Fetch, Stay” and “Stay, Stay”.
remains to be seen!
then owl be a monkey's uncle.
Girlfriend: “babe, I’m pregnant”
Me trying to not lose it: “Hi, pregnant, I’m dad”
I feel like the 66 route is a little late
He's working his way to the top...
So I could have twice as many dad jokes.
I have some bones to pick with you.
We did, and within an hour he'd made a bolt for the door
Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.
We just need to figure out where to sign our kids up.
They are now being raised in a stable environment.
Because two Wongs don’t make a White
What can I say, I’m always willing to raise the steaks.
I told him "Dad, I found the paperwork. I know"
Dad said "What paperwork? What did you find?"
"I'm adopted"
He replied "Hi adopted! I'm- oh, wait. Nevermind."
"I wish you'd called me something else," he often says.
They said “hell no, why would we pick you”?
First thing he did when I got him home was make a bolt for the door.
As soon as we got home he made a bolt for the door.
Someone told him to “get along little doggie”
......And I'd be meeting my new parents that afternoon.
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the backdoor
As soon as we got him home, he made a bolt for the door
I've got some bones to pick with you.
