Change my mind
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︎ Mar 31 2021
What do you call a chameleon that canβt change colors?
π︎ 759
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︎ May 09 2021
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. They're very efficient, and not particularly funny.
π︎ 163
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︎ May 08 2021
My wife said, "Isn't it strange how little people change?"
Now I'm thinking, "Do dwarves put on clothes differently to the rest of us. "
π︎ 223
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︎ Apr 30 2021
How many Freudian Slips does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the bulb, and one to hold me, mother hold the ladder.
π︎ 31
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︎ May 12 2021
My wife shouted, "You need to do more chores around the house!" Groaning, I pleaded, "Can we change the subject?" She smiled and calmly replied...
"Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you."
π︎ 77
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︎ Apr 19 2021
I hate it when people talk about climate change
π︎ 28
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︎ Apr 09 2021
How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?
π︎ 23
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︎ Apr 30 2021
What is wrong with a chameleon that can't change colors?
He has reptile dysfunction.
I'll see myself out...
π︎ 11
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︎ May 14 2021
How many mexicans does it need to change a light bulb ?
π︎ 421
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︎ Feb 07 2021
6ix9ine is good at losing change,
especially dropping dimes.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 07 2021
How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ideally three, but Toucan.
π︎ 61
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︎ Apr 07 2021
Why should you never change clothes in front of a Pokemon?
π︎ 95
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︎ Mar 17 2021
How many classical economists does it take to change the light bulb?
None, because they think the invisible hand already did it.
π︎ 4
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︎ May 03 2021
If I ever win a big monetary prize or inheritance, I'll change my last name to Bates.
My butler won't be amused though.
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 23 2021
So with the new iPhone 13βs coming out this year they decided to change the charger name
Itβs now called Apple Juice
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 25 2021
How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb
π︎ 49
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︎ Mar 22 2021
How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Why does it have to be a group activity
π︎ 77
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︎ Apr 02 2021
What is the answer for climate change?
I donβt know but weβre getting warmer
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 16 2021
Fat people are always the ones to make change
Because no matter what they always tip the scales
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 27 2021
My son tried to change the time..
π︎ 12
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︎ Apr 12 2021
My mail carrier got a sex change, so now she's really a post-man ...
guess she had the wrong package.
π︎ 42
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︎ Mar 01 2021
I finally found a genie in a bottle! So I asked if it would be possible to change French positives to Spanish...
He replied, "oui shall sΓ."
π︎ 92
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︎ Mar 05 2021
A meteorology student did research on the necessity of temperature change when he was in college.
It was a degree requirement.
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 30 2021
If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
π︎ 29
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︎ Jan 23 2021
At a neighborhood party, my wife asked if I wanted to change the baby.
I said, βNot really. I like him the way he is.β
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 07 2021
They said everything would change after my vasectomy
I really didnβt notice a vas deferens
π︎ 15
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︎ Mar 17 2021
I owed my friend $20 so I gave a few dollars, some loose change, and a few small pieces of fried chicken
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 31 2021
How many ninjas does it take to change a lightbulb
Woah, it's already been changed
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 26 2021
Why are plants more likely to change sex?
Because theres less stigma to stamen.
π︎ 14
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︎ Mar 12 2021
My doctor has advised me to stop drinking, its going to be a massive change for me.
I've been with that doctor for 15 years.
π︎ 14
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︎ Mar 19 2021
Change my mind
Russian weddings should be called the Soviet Union
(:
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 30 2021
Suddenly YouTube is recommending me nothing but climate change videos
Praise the YouTube Al-Gore-Rythym
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Lately Iβve been storing all my extra change in some bushes outside.
Iβm starting my own hedge fund.
π︎ 72
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︎ Feb 03 2021
What do you call a flower getting a sex change ?
π︎ 55
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Why can't you change a deaf person's mind
They're not gonna hear you out
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 15 2021
My wife asked me, βAre you sometimes surprised as to how little people change?β
I said, βActually, the process is the same. Apart from their tiny clothes.β
π︎ 11k
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Be an agent of change
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 05 2021
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
π︎ 210
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︎ Mar 14 2021
How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb?
π︎ 176
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change colour?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
π︎ 21
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︎ Apr 18 2021
How many Mafiosos does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the light bulb and one to shoot the witnesses.
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 20 2021
How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 14 2021
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?
He had a reptile dysfunction
π︎ 45
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︎ Mar 22 2021
I didn't think a vasectomy would change my life that much...
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 05 2020
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