I can’t believe it’s not butter!
And then he can't log in anymore
An actual joke from my 8 year old - Why can’t you trust atoms?
They make up everything.
I was proud.
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?
Why can’t two elephants swim at the same time?
They only have a pair of trunks.
-my grandfather, just 5 minutes ago.
I can't stop thinking about Bruce willis movies. I guess old habits
One astronaut says to another “I can’t find any milk for my coffee”
The other astronaut replies “In space no one can, here use cream”
Why can't the bike ever get up on time?
Why can't bicycles stand upright?
Can’t believe someone rubbed one off, in elevator
Took me a minute I can’t lie
Why can’t DJs find work in the seafood industry?
Because they are always dropping the bass.
I’m addicted to abusing nuns, I just can’t not hit them, the only thing that’s worked for me is redirecting it to somebody else.
I’m trying really hard to kick the abbot
Why can't your nose be twelve inches long?
Cuz then it would be a foot.
I can't believe someone stole my limbo stick.
Like seriously, how low can you go ?
I was going to add a pun here but can't think of any right now
When you can't spell it, use it in a pun
What do you call a cow that can't moo?
I said to my kids, "Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do! Take Beethoven for example. They told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf!"
I asked fellow astronauts on ISS for some milk to put in my coffee but was informed I can't have any.
They said: "In space nobody can. Here, use cream"
Why can't they watch TV in Afghanistan?
Why can't athiests use exponents?
Because they don't believe in a higher power.
I can't believe I just got fired from the calendar factory...
All I did was take a day off.
Why can't shellfish play video games?
They can't gain the mussel memory
Why can't you hear the psychic going to the bathroom?
What fruit can't get married?
Why can’t your orthodontist release any of your medical information?
That information is strictly confidental
Why can’t 2021 take a picture in the dark
because it doesn’t have flash
I can't remember the name of this African river in front of me.
I must be going see Nile.
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?
I can’t wait till my Wife and I have a our first baby.
I’ll hand them to her and say “Here’s the fruits of your labor.”
I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke...
Why can't blind people eat fish?
My dad's not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language. But there's nothing that says he can't teach Japanese cooking and geography. So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.
This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.
How can you prove that the "I" before "E" except after "C" doesn't always apply ?
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it’s terminal
Dogs can’t use MRI machines.
Why can't a lactose intolerant dyslexic man keep a diary?
A woman suddenly in labor shouts, shouldn’t! wouldn’t! couldn’t! didn’t! can’t! The doctor says "don't worry."
“Those are just contractions.”
My friend just can't afford to pay his huge water bill...
I've sent him a Get Well Soon card.
I asked all the countries in the world if they wanted to throw a party. All of them told me they can't because of covid.
Only one was like "Yemen"
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Why can't electronics hobbyists measure voltage?
What do you call a scary icing that you can't get rid of?
I can’t believe it’s not...
Dogs can’t operate MRI Machines
Dogs can't operate MRI machines,
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