A gym buff was denied an entry to an elevator

The reason was he whey too much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Why is Jesus so buff

He uses CROSS-FIT

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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What do you call a buff Italian man named Anthony?

Rig-a-toni

(Thought of this a while ago while at the gym, had a chuckle)

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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I always see this really buff sea doggo at my local gym...

He's called Flex Seal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stick_in_the_mud_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Opera Buffs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shulerbop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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For the aviation buffs out there
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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What do you call a super buff robot?

Laser cut

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πŸ‘€︎ u/platonicgin
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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I love buff chicks

What do you call a bison that refuses a challenge...? . . . . . . Buffalo chicken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bhurd7222
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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Victor Frankenstein must have been pretty buff

He was a bodybuilder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi_im_Nadeem
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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The most buff bird is a woodpecker.

They have huge strong pecks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onesyboy
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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At work we were talking about how buff Belgian Blue cattle are so big, and my friend says, "Holstien cattle are pretty big too." My other friend asks "How big are they?"

Without missing a beat I say, "About twice as big as an Halfstein." Que groans and awkward laughs and my first friend says, "You've been hanging out with your dad to much."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wene324
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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My polar bear is not buff enough

So I bought some polaroids

..

I don't know if this is original or not

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aimlessaiming
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2016
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Why was the astronomer interested in the buff actor from "Hamlet"?

He was Meaty Yorick!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SemperPieratus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2016
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Grocery Store Buff

I saw one of the employees at walmart set up his own work out bench made out of pallets and Soda Cases. He was Bench a few packs of Dr. Pepper, as I am seeing this the only thing I can think is, "Man that's Soda Pressing!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_J_Nice
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2015
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"Hey dad, what's it like having a super buff son?"

"I don't know, ask your grandma."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fauxhawkism
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2015
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What would Gordon Ramsay’s stage name be if he was a wrestler?

Buff Wellington

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ceuqi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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I like to read news articles about grapes

I like to buff up on currant events.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Yesterday, I shot an elephant in my pajamas.

And later a rhinoceros in the buff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tatticky
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Weirdgardium Flexiosa
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glorious_bangla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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What do you call a fit Bison?

A buff-alo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Wife and I were driving past a buffalo farm...

Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"

Me: "No... They're made of buff."

She didn't talk to me the whole way home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DuctTapeNinja99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Need help with some pun ideas

I need to think of a punny group chat name that works with buff or buffs (like buffalo). Something like β€œpowerbuff girls” I’ve been thinking for days. Let’s here em!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/--Gizmo--
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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What is the female body builder’s favorite appetizer?

Buff chick dip

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Souplorde
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Still in the shadow of the master dad.

My parents are in town for a visit. Keep in mind that I have a 3 year old, so the dad jokes have doubled around here lately.

We go eat and I'm sharing a big burger with my wife. It has a fried egg on it, which I don't like, so I gave her the half with the yolk in it. She bit into it and the yolk broke and dribbled all over her hand. Before I could say anything, my dad mumbles, "Looks like the yolk's on you".

I said, " NOOOOOOOOO you beat me to it!" as my wife and my mom rolled their eyes and groaned. I'm pretty good at the dad jokes, but my dad has the grandfather buff or something.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtaxNOOOOOO
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2016
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My Dad's own twist on the "I'm hungry" joke

Let me start off by saying that I'm a Geography buff.

Me: Dad, I'm hungry

Dad: That's impossible!

Me: How?

Dad: I've been to Hungary and its much more pleasant than you are!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_MarioBalotelli
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2013
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Why did the letter B with low self-esteem start eating a lot?

He saw the Buff A

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
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I'm a dad, here's my joke: Which range animal likes to graze naked?

A BUFF-alo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/futurestorms
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2013
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Grandma's still sharp

My grandma is 85. She suffers from Parkinson's and sleeps about 16 hours a day, but her dad joke is still sharp (as I found out earlier). While discussing my cousin's bee-keeping with my mum:

Mum: '...what? I didn't know Buff makes honey' Grandma: 'He doesn't. ...the bees do'

She proceeded to grin smugly, appreciating my mother's sigh. I proudly enjoyed the ensuing silence. Well played, grandma.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gullsfan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
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Road Rage

IΒ΄m not really sure if this fits here, but itΒ΄s a hilarious story.

A Year ago my Father, mother, brother and me were driving to lunch(or breakfast), when we came to an intersection. This intersection has seen alot of accidents over the years, because people donΒ΄t give a fuck and just turn in. Long story short: A guy almost crashes his van into our car. It all went really fast. My dad shouted, hit the brakes and with a screeching sound we halted. The van just drove on and was before us. My dad muttered something like: "ThatΒ΄s it!" and overtook the van. He stopped infron of said van and got out.(Sidenote: We are all tall in my family. my little brother is a little over 2 meters and is really buff. IΒ΄m just 2 meters tall and my dad is a little smaller than me. My mum is the smallest of the bunch with just 1,86 or so) So my dad gets out of the car and starts shouting at the guy in the van. My father is a real pacifist and hates violence of any form, so we all were really shocked. I look over to my brother and say:"We gotta hold him back heΒ΄s gonna rip that guys head off!". So we both got out and the guy starts trembling behind his steering wheel, when suddenly a giant stands infront of his car shouting and hitting and kicking the air, while 2 larger giants hold him back (barely though) and try to sooth him. My mother gets out goes over to the guys windows points him to let it down and say:"YouΒ΄re lucky my sons are with us, otherwise we wouldnΒ΄t be having this conversation." She goes back to my father tells him to cool down and we all get back in the car. The guy in the van looks frozen at us and doesnt move a muscle. Remeber we are still on the street holding up the entire intersection, so cars start honking. ItΒ΄s then i hear my dad laughing and saying:" You didnΒ΄t think i was gonna do anything did ya?" We didnΒ΄t spoke to him for the rest of the ride, but later at lunch(or breakfast) we all laughed about it.

TL;DR: 3 Giants teach a man not to speed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GnakFlak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2014
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