Home Depot checkout line is as good a place as any for a dad joke

I needed to run to Home Depot just a little while ago, and my eight year old son has been driving my wife insane, so he was sent with me. He asked a hundred questions about what tool does what and why I needed this or that. Despite my distracted supervision, he surely mixed up several loose nuts and bolts.

At the exit of the self checkout line, there's a massive gumball machine that holds massive gumballs. I rarely carry change, so he's out of luck.

Sonny Boy: Dad, can I have a quarter?

Me (checking out): Nope. Don't have one.

Sonny Boy: You don't have any cents?

Me: If I had any cents, I'd have left you at home tonight.

No, he didn't get it, and I'm shocked he set it up so well by saying cents. But, the dude in the line next to me let out a solid guffaw. We made the satisfying, knowing eye contact of two dad joke aficionados. I'm glad someone else heard it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ‘€︎ u/dtsjr
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2014
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You know what I hate?

How Formula 1 aficionados despise anyone who mispronounce the name for the series of races that they have. They are such Prix about it.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ‘€︎ u/fart2125
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2015
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I need some giraffe puns!

Hi, everyone! A while back, I won a large stuffed giraffe in a contest, and it's just been sitting in my basement ever since. However, I've decided to use it to ask a girl to prom. My friends all know me as the resident pun aficionado, so I figured writing out a cute way of asking alongside it would work well. I'm struggling to come up with something, so I was wondering if you guys had any quality giraffe or neck puns I could use. Thanks in advance!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/EtherealProphet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2015
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