Buffalo Wing Puns

I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking out some chicken at the checkout.

Me and a coworker were making a batch of buffalo chicken wings at work. He noticed that one of the wings still had a feather on it and pulled it off. I said, "I'm glad you noticed that, otherwise that bite would have been fowl." Cue eyeroll.

Yesterday, while sitting in a restaurant, a little girl at the table next to us ordered chicken fingers. Her dad scolded her, saying "I can't believe you'd get those, do you realize just how rare chickens with fingers actually are?" To which, I couldn't help but reply "Probably about as rare as Buffalo with wings!" We both mentally high fived each other, while our wives and his kids rolled their eyes and audibly groaned.

Me: How are you going to make these things?

Dad: I don't know, I'm just going to wing it!

Me:"I'm going to run to the restroom." Dad:"No need to run, it's not going anywhere." He was so proud of himself and I did chuckle.

...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.

Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.

A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.

With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, “Thank you.”

As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...

“Thank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”

I was looking for flying bison.

Chris Pine - Pine scented

Cocoa Chanel - Hot cocoa scented

Beth Crow-ley - Rain, nighttime, and city streets scented

Tom Holly-and - Holly berry scented

JK Row-ling - Lakes and campfire scented

Miley Cypress - Cypress scented

Bob Moss - Forest and moss scented

Juniper Aniston - Juniper scented

Katy Berry - Mixed berry scented

Britney Spearmint - Spearmint scented

Bread Pitt - Bread scented

Tom Cruise - Ocean, salty, alcohol scented

Aurora - Nighttime, wind, whimsical scented

Nicole Kidman - baby powder scented

Justin Beaver - Wood, nature scented

Elvis Parsley - Parsley scented

Steve Cobs - Corn on the cob scented

Banana Montana - Banana scented

Orange Winfrey - Orange scented

Chris Bat - Nighttime, caves, and bats scented

Zoey Salad-ana - Salad, lettuce, leafy greens, tomato, cheese scented

Dwayne the Rock - Mountains, earthy, fresh, crisp, wind scented Jennifer Joe-pez - Nice hot cup o’ joe scented

Chicken Corbin Blue - Chicken and cheese and ham scented

Robert Brownie Jr. - Brownie scented

Sardine-a Gomez - Sardine scented

Daniel Rad-Clif - Clif bar blueberry flavor scented

Leonardo Di-Carp-rio - Fish scented

Halle Berry - Mixed scented

Demi Tomato - Tomato scented

Kevin Bacon - Bacon scented

Mandy S’more - S’mores scented

Mackerel-more - Fish scented

Broccoli Obama - Broccoli scented

WILL.I.SPAM. - Spam scented

Mark Buffalo Wings - Buffalo wing scented

John Lemon - Lemon scented

Shakiramisu - Tiramisu scented

Egg Sheeran - Eggs scented

Benedict Cucumber Patch - Cucumber scented

Adille - Dill scented

Kevin Spicy - Taco scented

Channing Potatum - Potato scented

Melon DeGeneres - Melon scented

Danny Burrito - Burrito scented

Michaelanjello - Red jello scented

Harry Panini - Panini scented

Snoop Hot Dog - Hot dog scented

Paris Hilton - Paris, city of love, generic love perfume scented

Morgan Whipped Cream-in - Whipped cream scented

Mike Fryson - French fry scented

Henry David Thoreaut Lozenge - Cough drop scented

Raisin Williams - Raisin scented

Robert Frosty - Vanilla ice cream scented

Jeff Onion-blum - Onion ring scented

Tom Skittle-ston - Skittles scented

Ralph Waldo M&Mson - Chocolate scented

Malt Whitman - Malt scented

(Friend and I came up with these on the ride down to Boston for a concert, after the “I wonder what Chris Pine smells like?” joke was brought up again from a previous time hanging out. I’m particularly proud of Bob Moss and Zoey Salad-ana.)

Hungry boyfriend: i want ribs. Me: (touches his ribcage) but you already have some!

My dad while eating wings: "man, I've never had buffalo wings before."

Me: "what? your eating some buffalo wings right now...."

Dad: "no these are chicken wings you idiot. I've never had buffalo wings before..."

dad:"I want 10 buffalo wings."

Waiter:"You want dry rub?"

dad:"Sure! Can I eat first?"

We were at Buffalo Wild Wings celebrating my mom's b-day, and we waited for quite a while before our waitress came to attend us, when she came she said "sorry for the wait" I quickly responded, "weight? But I'm not fat though" she started to laugh, and ended up thanking me for the joke, saying that she really needed that laugh tonight. I felt good afterward knowing that I'm making the world a better place, one dadjoke at a time.

New Year's Day... The start of a fresh 365 sunrises that symbolize a turning point in lifestyle and spending the entire day recovering from a dreadful hangover. Like many other people in America, this relatively fake holiday is a time that I spend with my family. One of my family's many traditions (alongside annihilating plates of buffalo wings and watching college football until we pass out on the couch) is watching the Rose Parade. At the very beginning of the event, before all of the flower-covered floats and high school bands came marching down the street, there was an introductory ceremony complete with a B-2 stealth bomber flyover. As soon as they passed by, zooming out of the camera's frame, my dad leans in closer to me and says "Well I sure didn't see that coming!"

Went to a local restaurant with my dad and younger siblings earlier today. When our waitress came along and pointed out their all you can eat buffalo wing special, my dad pulled this:

Dad: "All you can eat, huh? You know, I tried to get into the competitive eating scene once."

Brother: "You did? When was that? Why didn't you keep going?"

Dad: "Well, after a few competitions I just couldn't stomach the pressure anymore."

Even the waitress groaned.

Me: since these are duck wings, would that make them water-buffalo wings? Her: groan

Him: Yeah the hot wings we have are hotter than Buffalo Wild Wings blazin wings Me: How do you guys make them? Him: We usually just wing it

we picked up pizza and wings for dinner tonight, and my dad had some questions about the wings.

Dad:"I thought we got buffalo wings."

Me:"No, we ended up getting the barbecue wings."

Dad:"Right, barbecue buffalo wings."

Me:"The girl at the pizza place gave us a choice of barbecue, buffalo, or rotisserie."

Dad:"Oh, so these aren't buffalo wings?"

Me:"No."

Dad:"No wonder they're so small." walks away laughing up a storm