Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, β€œok sir, and which side?”

I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.

Cashier: β€œsir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Brought my friend some chicken, told him I had 1 leg, 3 breasts and a wing.

He asked β€œSo how do you find clothes that fit?”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SacredSyrian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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So for New Years, I went to a bar and ordered chicken wings

Now let me tell you, they were so boney that I had a bone to pick with the manager (true story)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkkiller1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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When you order spicy chicken wings, you expect them to be spicy.

Yes, else they would be mildly disappointing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slats-a-ah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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Dracula is walking down a street in Transylvania when suddenly tons of sandwiches, mini sausage rolls, crisps, chicken wings and cocktail sausages fall on him...

Buried under all this food, his dying words were, "Oh no, it's Buffet the Vampire Slayer!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
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[Fried Chicken Franchise] is moving to only serve wings from one side

It’s a vast right wing conspiracy

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
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Chicken wings

Dad: Hey, I got us some spicy chicken wings for dinner

Me: Oh, sweet

Dad: No, spicy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IHeartPallets
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2013
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Making buffalo chicken wings at work.

Me and a coworker were making a batch of buffalo chicken wings at work. He noticed that one of the wings still had a feather on it and pulled it off. I said, "I'm glad you noticed that, otherwise that bite would have been fowl." Cue eyeroll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talrax
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2016
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Chicken fingers and Buffalo wings

Yesterday, while sitting in a restaurant, a little girl at the table next to us ordered chicken fingers. Her dad scolded her, saying "I can't believe you'd get those, do you realize just how rare chickens with fingers actually are?" To which, I couldn't help but reply "Probably about as rare as Buffalo with wings!" We both mentally high fived each other, while our wives and his kids rolled their eyes and audibly groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryguy1984
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2015
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Chicken Wings

In response to /u/rsocfan getting Reddit banned in Russia, the following conversation ensued:

> This is an impressive mark to have left on history. I mean, some people cause 48-car pileups on the high way, you get an entire site blocked from an entire country.

> I make chicken wings all day.

-/u/backstagecoffee

>chicken wings

> Your contribution is also important. How else would chickens fly?

-/u/stovenn

Link to the thread containing /u/stovenn's joke

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
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My chickens had a sudden change of leadership

Someone took the first leader's crown. I've heard complaints that he was winging every decision, running around like a headless chicken. He was probably too cocky to plan for coop attempts.

More on this as I find out information.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoruscareGames
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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NEW!! Celebrity Fun in the Pun candle line!

Chris Pine - Pine scented

Cocoa Chanel - Hot cocoa scented

Beth Crow-ley - Rain, nighttime, and city streets scented

Tom Holly-and - Holly berry scented

JK Row-ling - Lakes and campfire scented

Miley Cypress - Cypress scented

Bob Moss - Forest and moss scented

Juniper Aniston - Juniper scented

Katy Berry - Mixed berry scented

Britney Spearmint - Spearmint scented

Bread Pitt - Bread scented

Tom Cruise - Ocean, salty, alcohol scented

Aurora - Nighttime, wind, whimsical scented

Nicole Kidman - baby powder scented

Justin Beaver - Wood, nature scented

Elvis Parsley - Parsley scented

Steve Cobs - Corn on the cob scented

Banana Montana - Banana scented

Orange Winfrey - Orange scented

Chris Bat - Nighttime, caves, and bats scented

Zoey Salad-ana - Salad, lettuce, leafy greens, tomato, cheese scented

Dwayne the Rock - Mountains, earthy, fresh, crisp, wind scented Jennifer Joe-pez - Nice hot cup o’ joe scented

Chicken Corbin Blue - Chicken and cheese and ham scented

Robert Brownie Jr. - Brownie scented

Sardine-a Gomez - Sardine scented

Daniel Rad-Clif - Clif bar blueberry flavor scented

Leonardo Di-Carp-rio - Fish scented

Halle Berry - Mixed scented

Demi Tomato - Tomato scented

Kevin Bacon - Bacon scented

Mandy S’more - S’mores scented

Mackerel-more - Fish scented

Broccoli Obama - Broccoli scented

WILL.I.SPAM. - Spam scented

Mark Buffalo Wings - Buffalo wing scented

John Lemon - Lemon scented

Shakiramisu - Tiramisu scented

Egg Sheeran - Eggs scented

Benedict Cucumber Patch - Cucumber scented

Adille - Dill scented

Kevin Spicy - Taco scented

Channing Potatum - Potato scented

Melon DeGeneres - Melon scented

Danny Burrito - Burrito scented

Michaelanjello - Red jello scented

Harry Panini - Panini scented

Snoop Hot Dog - Hot dog scented

Paris Hilton - Paris, city of love, generic love perfume scented

Morgan Whipped Cream-in - Whipped cream scented

Mike Fryson - French fry scented

Henry David Thoreaut Lozenge - Cough drop scented

Raisin Williams - Raisin scented

Robert Frosty - Vanilla ice cream scented

Jeff Onion-blum - Onion ring scented

Tom Skittle-ston - Skittles scented

Ralph Waldo M&Mson - Chocolate scented

Malt Whitman - Malt scented

(Friend and I came up with these on the ride down to Boston for a concert, after the β€œI wonder what Chris Pine smells like?” joke was brought up again from a previous time hanging out. I’m particularly proud of Bob Moss and Zoey Salad-ana.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Minnara
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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Due date 3 months and counting. Practice

Friend: I want chicken wings. Me: I’ll stick with my human arms.

CAN I BE A DAD YET?!β€½

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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Wondering you all could help us name our Food Truck

My girlfriend and I are starting our food truck next year and we have been trying to come up with a great name for the truck. We are looking to make it a Pun hence the hopeful help of the Sub-Reddit. We will be serving chicken wings with a bunch of different sauce recipes and all we've really come up with so far is 'Lord of the Wings' but I was wondering if the creative minds of the internet could think of something better.

I'm not sure if I'm breaking any rules here or not, I just thought what better place to find the answer than here? Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alienteacher
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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Wings

My dad while eating wings: "man, I've never had buffalo wings before."

Me: "what? your eating some buffalo wings right now...."

Dad: "no these are chicken wings you idiot. I've never had buffalo wings before..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TerroristOgre
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
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Wife got me the other night

Wife hands me dinner, a salad with some pieces of chicken on it. Wife: "Didn't know which pieces you wanted so I just winged it" I look down and see the two wings of the chicken on my plate....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drolicheck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2015
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Friend at work got me good

Working a huge rush and have to drop 10 breaded wings for an order. Forgot what sauce to toss them in.

Me: what were those 10 wings again?

Tyler: Chicken!

Me: ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phyzerion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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Mother's boyfriend is ready to be my dad.

Sister complaining about her chicken.

Sis: Do chickens have scales? Because my chicken wing has a scale on the end.

Mom's boyfriend: How much did it weigh?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatCub3K1d
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2014
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The ultimate dad joke

So, i am laying in my bed and my dad yells from the kitchen "hey bud, which side of a chicken has more feathers?" And me being me say the wings. His ansert was "the outisde". He then proceeded to chuckle and drink beer in the basement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-ogre-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2014
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My wife's unconciously a greater dad than I

So my wife and I were making some fried chicken wings tonight. So I asked her:

Me: "Did you make these from a recipe?"

Her: "Well I didn't just WING it!"

Me: "Haaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! I see what you did there."

Her: "What?" she thinks for a bit and then just gives me a stare.

Later on in the conversation we're discussing how it's been a long day and wings sound good.

Me: "Wings and Alcohol sound like a great combo for today."

Her: "Well it is FRIday."

Me: "Heyoooooo!!!! Nice one."

Her: she just glares at me

....

I secretly think she's an awesome dad. Either that or my puns are infiltrating every corner of her mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WakeskaterX
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
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Lunch kind-of dadjoke

On Thursdays the cafeteria serves pizza and/or chicken wings. My friend does not purchase lunch from the cafeteria often, but this Thursday he decided to "wing it". Being his friend, I decided (since ordering lunch is such a traumatic experience) to be his "wingman" in case he should be too "chicken" to order himself.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/12_Digit_Number
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2014
🚨︎ report

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