They finally caught the guy who's been putting hot sauce in beer mugs

His name: Dr. Frank's-in-stein.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombie-narwhals
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What do you get when you put hot sauce on a dog?

A hotdog. You get a god-damn hotdog.

Edit: No real dogs were harmed in the making of this joke. Except for maybe a hotdog.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adidude1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
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Had this idea for a red hot sauce.

It's themed is great pointallist painters. Name: Seurat-cha.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/badgeometry
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
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I identify as a man, my birth certificate says I’m a man, everybody I know says I’m a man...

and yet according to Kraft Dinner, I’m a 4-person family

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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My girlfriend wanted to spice things up in the bedroom

I hate when she eats on the bed! Hot sauce stains, Woman!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whoaswows
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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My wife asked me the best way to heat up her leftovers

I told her to put some hot sauce on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lemonloaff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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My wife just got me :)

So we were sitting at at the table having hotdogs for dinner. My mother-in-law and I then both went to ask my daughter for something at the same time, me for the sauce and the MIL for my daughters glasses so she can clean them. Then we ended up taking turns asking

My MIL then commented that it was good that we didn't ask at the same time otherwise she would be cleaning the bottle and I would be trying to put glasses on the hot dog.

My wife then turned to me and said "Then it would be a Seeing Eye Dog!" And promptly burst out laughing.

This was made all the more special, since my wife is only now just coming out of a 5 year melancholic depression. Yay!

EDIT: Changed wording to make it clearer. Thank you very much from both myself and my wife for all your positive thoughts. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yberry
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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So I dadjoked the hell out of my dadjoking boss

My boss is a good guy and a good boss, but he always says the same 5 or so jokes (he has two young kids). Anytime he pulls up to a job that we've been working on its "you aren't done yet?" or its "great job, but why are they upside down". Every time someone walks up to a job they get a loud "shhhh, here they come". I can go on and on, he has comedy routines for almost every situation.

So that's what I have to deal with.

Last weekend he took a mini-vacation, and brought me back a bottle of hot sauce (I'm something of a heatseeker) and the bottle was layer with all sorts of sexual innuendo that it'll get you hard and great at sex.

The other day I send him a text message around lunch time that only said "I have to go to the emergency room." Not 30 seconds pass and I get a phone call from him.

Boss: "What happened?"

Me: "Well, this morning I put some of that hot sauce you gave me on my eggs, and I've had an erection lasting more than four hours."

Boss: dryly "Ha. Ha. Haaa."

Meanwhile my coworker is dying of laughter and I'm trying to keep it together.

I've told everyone about this the past couple days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ejh3k
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Not a dad, but I think I am prepared... Well everyone in line thought so anyway.

This starts and ends at the local coffee shop I go to on the way to work. My cashier takes my order; sausage, egg & cheese with salt, pepper, ketchup and hot sauce, on toasted rye. She taps away for a moment on the iPad POS then looks up and says "and a name for the sandwich?" to which I quickly raise my chest and proclaim "Breakfast!". To this all 6 people in the shop, including the cashier started chuckling.

[drop mic]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fractalphony
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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Here's one I use every once in a while as a server...

I work at a cajun restaurant and so we bring hot sauce to most of our tables, but since we also bring ketchup for some as well, I always specify when I set hot sauce down. A lot of times when I set it down people will just say "sweet!" as a response(surprisingly often I might add). Then I always respond, "no, it's actually quite spicy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NISCBTFM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2016
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Son got dad and grandad and mom and grandmom at dinner tonight.

Eating at a soulfood restaurant and son ordered pigs feet (trotters) for the first time. Waitress asked him if he wanted hot sauce and vinegar. He declined and tried to eat the first one. He wasn't impressed. Waitress came back later and saw he was struggling and suggested he needed to put hot sauce and vinegar on them. He obliged.

When the waitress came back later to see if they were any better he said, "Yes. I guess I started out on the wrong foot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roonerspize
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2016
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The waiter didn't like my dad joke

I was at a restaurant with my dad and girlfriend last night and I got a side called "Macho Peas" which are just peas in a hot sauce (pretty tasty, actually). The waiter came by to ask us how everything was, and I asked him "What landmark do you get when you eat this dish?" "I don't know, what?" "Macho Peas Chew!"

Eye rolls and groans all around!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Agnostalypse
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2014
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