Why did the birdie go to the hospital?

To get a tweetment!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_jack_rabbit_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the birdie cross the kitchen?

To eat to eat to eat

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/XxCotHGxX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw that my cat Mitten ate a birdie.

Bad Mitten!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BelowZilch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Now you just wait there a damn second friend.. a little birdie has just informed me that you are in fact a mime

Ya don’t say.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Birdie Sanders is safe
πŸ‘οΈŽ 115
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Billyb0bj03
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Tiger Woods was in a car accident this morning...

I heard he hit a birdie.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FroshPresident
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
A zoo has 27 monkeys.

This zoo has 10 more birds than monkeys. How many birds does it have?

Birdy-seven.

(Courtesy of my six-year-old son. I've never been so proud.)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Strength-InThe-Loins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Depending on your golf handicap you can move your tee forwards or backwards

Move it too far forward and it becomes a birdie tee.

Too far back and it becomes a bogey tee

Get it just right?

Now that's a party.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SorryForTheRainDelay
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
It's always a great idea for golfers to bring an extra pair of pants when going golfing...

Just incase they get a hole in one.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CaptainB_MANN
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I was trying to come up with jokes about golf...

...but they were all subpar

πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gonzofish
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the golfer bring two pair of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy threw his golf club into the air.

He got a birdie.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GenericJuiceBox
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad joked while golfing

My dad and I went galling this morming, and a flock of birds was sitting on the fairway of the third hole as we got to the tee box. I asked him how many strokes we would get off our score if we hit a bird.

As he stepped up to address the ball, he said calmly "It's an automatic birdie."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/diesel2012
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Got my friends this past weekend

A couple we're friendly with have a really cute 3-year-old girl who loves to play with the small animals in the backyard (mostly toads). Recently the girl found a bird a little later than their pet cat did, and didn't realize the bird was dead. Her mom, being a bit strange and not wanting to explain death to her daughter quite yet, puts on a pair of yard gloves and -- when the daughter wasn't looking -- sticks the dead bird up in a tree. Tells her daughter, "look, he's napping in the tree."

At this point in the story I chime in, "Weekend at Birdie's!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mr_delete
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2016
🚨︎ report
He may be old but he's still a dad go'damit

I was playing golf with my grandfather and I was having a pretty bad day. Some birds start to fly down right in front of the tee box and the rest goes like this Me: Oh man all my balls have gone really high, I hope i don't hit a bird Grandpa: That would be the closet thing to a birdie you would have all day Me: ... Grandpa: Falls over from laughing so hard

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PuzzyDestr0yer6969
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2014
🚨︎ report
Why did the little birdie go to the hospital?

To get tweetment.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThaDreamMerchant
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the birdie go to the hospital?

To get tweetment.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AllanCD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MJ23isgod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the golfer bring and extra pair of socks to practice?

In case he got a hole in one..

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jessmaeflower
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.