Putter Puns

The getaway driver.

So my brother in law goes shopping with his future father in law, and the future father in law (FFIL?) buys a used putter at a flea market.

My wife: "why'd he buy a putter?"

My bro in law: "He's having a snake problem. The idea is to get the snakes around the end of the putter."

My wife: "What are you supposed to do once you have a snake on a putter?"

Me: "Try to put a hole in one."

I was puttering around the kitchen legit just now when my dad came in and said: "Hey, son; I got you a new--well, a used iPad."

I turn, really surprised, until he hands me a rather dusty and faded blue eye cover for sleeping.

"It's a used eye pad," he said, eyes full of that "I found a really bad dad joke" delight.

.....

.....Bless my dad's soul.

Me: "Hey dad, what're you up to?"

Dad: "About 5'7 and a half."

I was golfing in the Australian Open for the first time. I noticed all the pros were putting various condiments on their clubs. Salt on a putter, brown sauce on a driver, ketchup on a 9-iron.

I my caddy why they were doing it, and he explained that an Australian thing for good luck.

Now, by that time I had already shot straight into a sand trap so I said to him: "Too bad I didn't know about it. I really could use some of that luck right about now."

He just smiled...

...and gave me a vegemite sand-wedge.

I've been browsing it all day and annoying my family by reading every post out to them.

After enough torture the app stopped working.

I told them "Aww the app crashed...

I guess it wasn't a very good driver."

He liked to putter around.

RIP. Miss the old man.

I'm just not hitting it par enough.

Dad loves to golf and he enjoys drinking while golfing. A couple days ago he came over for a visit after a few rounds.

"How was golfing? You seem a little buzzed, did you have a few drinks?"

"Of golf course!"

.....

I cracked up but my husband groaned.

Just dropped my first DJ My friend said "I'm having to restart my computer, driver issues" so I replied "you should try your putter instead" KABLAMYWAMY