Why did the birdie go to the hospital?

To get a tweetment!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_jack_rabbit_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Why did the birdie cross the kitchen?

To eat to eat to eat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxCotHGxX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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I saw that my cat Mitten ate a birdie.

Bad Mitten!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BelowZilch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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Now you just wait there a damn second friend.. a little birdie has just informed me that you are in fact a mime

Ya don’t say.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Birdie Sanders is safe
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Billyb0bj03
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Tiger Woods was in a car accident this morning...

I heard he hit a birdie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FroshPresident
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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A zoo has 27 monkeys.

This zoo has 10 more birds than monkeys. How many birds does it have?

Birdy-seven.

(Courtesy of my six-year-old son. I've never been so proud.)

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Depending on your golf handicap you can move your tee forwards or backwards

Move it too far forward and it becomes a birdie tee.

Too far back and it becomes a bogey tee

Get it just right?

Now that's a party.

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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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It's always a great idea for golfers to bring an extra pair of pants when going golfing...

Just incase they get a hole in one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainB_MANN
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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I was trying to come up with jokes about golf...

...but they were all subpar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gonzofish
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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Why did the golfer bring two pair of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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A guy threw his golf club into the air.

He got a birdie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GenericJuiceBox
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
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Dad joked while golfing

My dad and I went galling this morming, and a flock of birds was sitting on the fairway of the third hole as we got to the tee box. I asked him how many strokes we would get off our score if we hit a bird.

As he stepped up to address the ball, he said calmly "It's an automatic birdie."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diesel2012
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2015
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Got my friends this past weekend

A couple we're friendly with have a really cute 3-year-old girl who loves to play with the small animals in the backyard (mostly toads). Recently the girl found a bird a little later than their pet cat did, and didn't realize the bird was dead. Her mom, being a bit strange and not wanting to explain death to her daughter quite yet, puts on a pair of yard gloves and -- when the daughter wasn't looking -- sticks the dead bird up in a tree. Tells her daughter, "look, he's napping in the tree."

At this point in the story I chime in, "Weekend at Birdie's!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_delete
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2016
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He may be old but he's still a dad go'damit

I was playing golf with my grandfather and I was having a pretty bad day. Some birds start to fly down right in front of the tee box and the rest goes like this Me: Oh man all my balls have gone really high, I hope i don't hit a bird Grandpa: That would be the closet thing to a birdie you would have all day Me: ... Grandpa: Falls over from laughing so hard

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2014
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Why did the little birdie go to the hospital?

To get tweetment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaDreamMerchant
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the birdie go to the hospital?

To get tweetment.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllanCD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MJ23isgod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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Why did the golfer bring and extra pair of socks to practice?

In case he got a hole in one..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jessmaeflower
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
🚨︎ report

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