It would suck not being able to eat bread :')
A reporter interviewed a 103-year old woman: “And what is the best thing about being 103?” the reporter asked.
The woman simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
What a lad being a ruthless guy
Being the new guy can suck
I wanted to make a joke about the boat being stuck at Suez Canal
but it seems that ship has sailed
Someone likes being the center of attention.
Despite being tiny, the Republic of Ireland has the capital city with the highest population growth in the world...
Despite being an electrical engineer, my son couldn't fix the circuit
I heard that Cardi B won a certificate for being crazy.
I guess she's a certified freak.
What's the best thing about being a test tube baby?
You get a womb with a view.
Dad: “... and if I’m being frank you are acting terrible about it”
Child: “ if you are being frank who is being dad?”
Actual conversation I heard in the store
Being able to wake up every morning
Has been a real eye opener for me
My friend makes a living off of being the sound of a clock.
Her actual words were, "I'm a tiktoker," but I knew what she meant.
A little known fact was that Bruce Lee came very close to being the spokesman for Burger King.
He really loved the whap-pa!
Life is tough being an elevator repair technician.
Important questions being asked
This is what being American is all about. Second Amendment Lights.
It's weird being colorblind in an art gallery. Everything's a pigment of the imagination.
After being holed up in the house due to Covid, my wife has started having this weird nightmare that our house is made of celery.
Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.
Edit: You folks are way too generous. Thanks a lot.
I was poking fun at my friend for not being quite Asian, African, or European
Apparently he's a bit Turklish.
I’ve being breaking a lot of records recently...
I would have broken more if they didn’t kick me out of the music store.
What's a fancy term for coders being poached from a company?
I must admit, I joined this subreddit despite not being a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
Edit: This took off a lot better than I expected.
I feel like a father figure now.
I thought about being a comedian instead of a mailman, but it didn't work out
My delivery was terrible.
I'm so good at being a frozen mime.
I can do it with my ice clothes.
If the process of decaffeinating coffee beans means being doused in formaldehyde...
Does that make them Coffinated?
What's the best part about being a guitarist?
Knowing your way around the G string.
I quit being a flat earther,
because no one took me sphereiously.
It must be really easy being a train engineer
All you have to do is stay on track
I've completed 4 years of being single today.
Or Can I say I graduated my Bachelor's Degree?
Why is being a sleep analyst considered one of the toughest jobs in the market?
You work with your eyes closed
Its great being an orphan....
Every bag of chips is family sized.
In a dream I was being chased by a trillion male cows...
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
First octopus: “What do you like least about being an octopus?”
Second octopus: “Washing my hands before dinner”
I called Robinhood to complain about not being able to buy more GME
Operator said “please hold”
My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
I’m giving up being an electrician.
What do you call someone who insists on being called Nicholas?
Imagine the waters being filled with orange flavoured soda
My friend likes being talked down to...
Feather pillows are his passion.
Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.
That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.
What similar to working at McDonald’s and being a archeologist in Athens
You will smell like ancient Greece
The police arrested me for being a helium balloon.
They held me for a while but eventually let me go.
If being around baby chickens has taught me one thing...
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
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