Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
Thank God that nipples exist.
Because without them, boobs would be pointless.
π︎ 20
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︎ Jan 28 2021
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
π︎ 62
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︎ Dec 16 2020
I don't know whether dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour exists, but I'll believe it when I see it.
You can say I'm agnocchic.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 01 2021
In which era did the half demon bloods exist?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Wow, I canβt believe I didnβt know this sub existed. I gotta say, I am a HUGE FAN!
π︎ 83
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Ah Facebook XD
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
The existence of the Kia Forte...
Implies the existence of the much quieter Kia Piano.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 23 2020
I wish thought controlled ATMs existed
They make cents when you think about it.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Catboy is a boy with cat ears and catgirl is a girl with cat ears
Since Iβm neither gender with cat ears, does that make me Nyan-binary?
π︎ 161
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︎ Jan 15 2021
I was wondering what the reason is that dolphins exist...
I mean, whatβs their porpoise?
π︎ 35
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Out of all the birds that exist, owls are the most beautiful.
They are quite the head turner.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
A steak pie will cost you $2.50 in Jamaica, in Barbados its $3
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
Why can't athiests use exponents?
Because they don't believe in a higher power.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
Vampires don't really exist.
Well, unless you Count Dracula
π︎ 64
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︎ Aug 19 2020
Today I saw the biggest unicelular organism to have ever existed. It was about 8cm in diameter.
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 25 2020
In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, Iβm glad about one thing.
Every one reading this is on the same page.
Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.
π︎ 18k
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
How would you describe a type of bread that doesn't exist?
I would just call it naan-existent
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
Which kind of bees make milk?
π︎ 17
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︎ Jan 30 2021
Gravity is a very important part of our existence. What happens when you remove it?
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 24 2020
If Smellevision existed, what channel would you smell wrestling?
π︎ 14
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︎ Aug 12 2020
Irritable Bowel Syndrome implies the existence of other bowel syndromes, such as:
Cheery Bowel Syndrome
Angry Bowel Syndrome
Naive Bowel Syndrome (right before you have Taco Bell)
The list is endless and frightening
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
Do Dr. Sues(s) exist tho?
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 20 2020
How do you get a panda drunk
π︎ 29
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Freedom cannot exist in a vacuum.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 16 2020
What do you call a color that doesn't exist?
A pigment of your imagination.
π︎ 141
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︎ Feb 03 2020
Iβve been to a parallel universe where oranges donβt exist, but my friends wonβt believe me.
I guess they think itβs pulp fiction.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
I need a pun about chips for a Christmas gift
So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist.
My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking.
I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Coffee pls
π︎ 5k
π
︎ May 29 2020
TIL the color magenta doesn't exist, it is your brain trying to make sense of your red and blue cones activating while the green is inactive.
Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination
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︎ Feb 28 2020
Just finished a book about the greatest basement to ever exist
π︎ 20
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︎ Jan 23 2020
I have finally made it
I have two kids, a three year old daughter and a one year old son. Today as we were driving home, my daughter said for the first time βdad Iβm hungryβ and I felt the power course through my veins knowing I was about to reach the pinnacle of existence. I delivered the revered line and my wife just looked at me and I knew I had achieved everything in life.
π︎ 16k
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︎ Jun 10 2020
He's just following orders
π︎ 49
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Scientists found that the nervous system doesn't actually exist.
It's just a lack of the confidence system.
π︎ 13
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︎ Apr 12 2020
My friend did not believe in the existence of underwear for apes.
I told her to looked them up and showed her on the internet .
I said "Ha!... Chimp pants, see?".
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 05 2020
NEW Greta Thunberg Meme I made today (Please forgive if it already exists)
π︎ 26
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︎ Dec 31 2019
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, then what is C for?
π︎ 14k
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︎ Feb 04 2020
I can "see" that.
π︎ 6k
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︎ Feb 20 2020
What do you call a religion that worships cannonballs?
Some might say it doesnβt exist so it isnβt canon in history, but if it existed, it would be called.....
Cannibalism
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
Getting rid of an annoying crease on a piece of paper is pretty easy.
All you have to do is wait, eventually itβll crease to exist!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
My friend once told me centrifugal force doesn't exist.
He was clearly out of the loop.
π︎ 70
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︎ Oct 18 2019
This poster. It exists.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
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