Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.

It wasn't up to snuff.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Thank God that nipples exist.

Because without them, boobs would be pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JY200115
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.

There is no cure.

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know whether dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour exists, but I'll believe it when I see it.

You can say I'm agnocchic.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alterom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
In which era did the half demon bloods exist?

Medieval era

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t know this sub existed. I gotta say, I am a HUGE FAN!
πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AliTheHigh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Ah Facebook XD
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The existence of the Kia Forte...

Implies the existence of the much quieter Kia Piano.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonnySwo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...

Yeti does.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fingerbob73
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I wish thought controlled ATMs existed

They make cents when you think about it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamehound266
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Catboy is a boy with cat ears and catgirl is a girl with cat ears

Since I’m neither gender with cat ears, does that make me Nyan-binary?

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEnBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I was wondering what the reason is that dolphins exist...

I mean, what’s their porpoise?

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marine1992
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Out of all the birds that exist, owls are the most beautiful.

They are quite the head turner.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A steak pie will cost you $2.50 in Jamaica, in Barbados its $3

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_In-corg-nito
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't athiests use exponents?

Because they don't believe in a higher power.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kymoo6
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Vampires don't really exist.

Well, unless you Count Dracula

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leggomyeggo3425
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I saw the biggest unicelular organism to have ever existed. It was about 8cm in diameter.

It was an absolute unit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HotWilbury
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, I’m glad about one thing.

Every one reading this is on the same page.

Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How would you describe a type of bread that doesn't exist?

I would just call it naan-existent

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Which kind of bees make milk?

Boobies

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sorry4ThisBut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Gravity is a very important part of our existence. What happens when you remove it?

You get gravy

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lafilafi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
If Smellevision existed, what channel would you smell wrestling?

Triple HBO

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmaffeo3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Irritable Bowel Syndrome implies the existence of other bowel syndromes, such as:

Cheery Bowel Syndrome

Angry Bowel Syndrome

Naive Bowel Syndrome (right before you have Taco Bell)

The list is endless and frightening

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KungFuThor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Do Dr. Sues(s) exist tho?
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doomofV
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get a panda drunk

Feed it bambooze.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Largefriesarebest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Freedom cannot exist in a vacuum.

It must suck for you!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whatizitman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a color that doesn't exist?

A pigment of your imagination.

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been to a parallel universe where oranges don’t exist, but my friends won’t believe me.

I guess they think it’s pulp fiction.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddyflextape
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I need a pun about chips for a Christmas gift

So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist. My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking. I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tazzles26
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Coffee pls
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/P131NYRFC3
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL the color magenta doesn't exist, it is your brain trying to make sense of your red and blue cones activating while the green is inactive.

Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Just finished a book about the greatest basement to ever exist

It was a best cellar.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I have finally made it

I have two kids, a three year old daughter and a one year old son. Today as we were driving home, my daughter said for the first time β€œdad I’m hungry” and I felt the power course through my veins knowing I was about to reach the pinnacle of existence. I delivered the revered line and my wife just looked at me and I knew I had achieved everything in life.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sageyban
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
He's just following orders
πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists found that the nervous system doesn't actually exist.

It's just a lack of the confidence system.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeggiesForThought
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend did not believe in the existence of underwear for apes.

I told her to looked them up and showed her on the internet .

I said "Ha!... Chimp pants, see?".

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
NEW Greta Thunberg Meme I made today (Please forgive if it already exists)
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blobeat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, then what is C for?

Plastic explosives.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noblegreed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I can "see" that.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Goatcheese1230
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a religion that worships cannonballs?

Some might say it doesn’t exist so it isn’t canon in history, but if it existed, it would be called.....

Cannibalism

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anormalpersonno8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Getting rid of an annoying crease on a piece of paper is pretty easy.

All you have to do is wait, eventually it’ll crease to exist!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordIggy88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend once told me centrifugal force doesn't exist.

He was clearly out of the loop.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OGgoob666
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
This poster. It exists.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N-P_A
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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