What’s the difference between a female basket and a male basket?

Basketballs.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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I just saw my wife trip over and drop a basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Just accepted new job at a bicycle factory

Gonna be their spokes person

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked to take 2, he said no.

I replied β€œcan I at least Taekwondo?”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forkingbread
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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I Might Be a Basket Case

https://preview.redd.it/fh0pq3ubcfz41.jpg?width=2457&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b0d484487bcd250efe235bbdf36da7e887afb9a

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fiddyoneskimcgee
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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My wife had me put her wine in a basket

It turned out to be a fiasco

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tr1Optimum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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As best man at my brother's wedding, I gave the couple a bread basket with a champagne flavored jam...

They seemed to enjoy my wedding toast.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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What items would you include in an amputation themed gift basket?

I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking

What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pyroperformer93
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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What's in the picnic basket?
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nascarfan624
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Basket bowl
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AniFaulscabek
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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I took my bicycle to the bottle shop the other day...

I got a bottle of vodka and put it in the bike's basket. As I was about to leave I thought to myself that if I fell the bottle would break. So I drank all the vodka and then headed home. It turned out to be a really good decision because I fell eleven times on my way home.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeGuy1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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How do you get an elephant in a Safeway grocery basket?

Take the s away in safe and the f away in way.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/randynubz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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The churches in Las Vegas

Did You Know…

In Las Vegas there are more Catholic Churches than casinos. Not surprisingly some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.

Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed In.

This is done by the chip monks.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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He's a complete basket case
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rt09savage
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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I almost fell down the stairs with a basket of laundry. I said β€œthat was a close one”

My dad said β€œNo, that was a clothes one.”

πŸ‘︎ 164
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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A couple sits down at a restaurant and the waiter brings them a basket of bread

The guy asks the waiter "Excuse me, is this gluten free?"

The waiter responds "Well it's complimentary as long as you order an entree"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/irlingStarcher
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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How is an amateur singer like someone carrying a basket of eggs?

They both Carry-Yolk-Ee

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HonoluluSolo
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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I could send you guys a bread basket
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Kat_Squared_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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What did the basketball player say when his throw did not go into the basket?

What did the basketball player say when his shot did not go in?

'H'OOPS!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supreeth106
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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At a steakhouse for grandpa's 93rd birthday yesterday, the waiter brings a basket of rolls for the table

I asked if we could get some for the humans too.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReallyNotRoot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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A sport that involves crying into a bunch of baskets.

Basket Bawl

(These puns will be the end of me JFC)

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnonymouslyMasked
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2016
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We all know Baby Moses was a basket case...

... and Pharaoh was in de Nile.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMCToga
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
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I tried to order a fruit basket for my friend, but he ended up receiving budoir pictures of his mom!

That's the last time i order from oedipal arrangements!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2017
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The pollen basket or corbicula is part of the tibia on the hind legs of certain species of bees. They use the structure in harvesting pollen and returning it to the nest or hive.

The bees think that this ability is just the bee's knees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nate601
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2015
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I was gonna try out archery

But theres too many drawbacks

πŸ‘︎ 765
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demarcus-Xavier
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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At graduation the psychiatrist was given a wicker attache

It was his first basket case

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/googonite
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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I accidentally called gift bags 'gift baskets'. My dad shot back with this one.

Dad: "You know what they call basket holders?"

Me: "...What?"

Dad: "Basket cases!"

This was followed by him laughing hysterically while I stared in disbelief. He asked my to share it on this subreddit when I told him about it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2013
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I had a hen who could count her own eggs.

She was a mathemachicken.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadWookieInc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Did you hear Moses was quite nuts?

Really?

Yeah, he was a real Basket case

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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True story

The other day I was at a DIY shop, buying various tools for around the house. In my basket was a hammer, and when it travelled along the conveyor belt and reached the checkout girl I shouted 'Stop!'.

She just looked at me blankly, and I was too embarrassed to finish the joke.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vibrate
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2018
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At an Indian restaurant with my parents.

An actual dad joke from about an hour ago. He delivered it flawlessly.

My dad holds up the empty bread basket to the waiter and, with a serious face, says "this bread, we have naan."

πŸ‘︎ 858
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blebber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2014
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I was doing all the laundry in the house.

I walk through the house with 3 empty laundry baskets.

Wife: "Having fun?"

Me: "Loads."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gotelc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2017
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip over and drop the basket of clothes she just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she had just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she’d just ironed.

It may sound far-fetched but it’s true.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 297
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts, but when I asked if I could take two, he said no...

I pleaded, β€œCan I at least Taekwondo?”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked if I could take two, he said no.

I said, β€œCan I at least Taekwondo?”

πŸ‘︎ 455
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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I went to the bottle shop the other day on my bicycle...

bought a bottle of whiskey and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off my bike, the bottle would break.

So I drank all the whiskey and then rode home.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on the way home!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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