Basketballs.
I watched it all unfold.
Gonna be their spokes person
I replied “can I at least Taekwondo?”
https://preview.redd.it/fh0pq3ubcfz41.jpg?width=2457&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b0d484487bcd250efe235bbdf36da7e887afb9a
It turned out to be a fiasco
They seemed to enjoy my wedding toast.
I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking
What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?
I got a bottle of vodka and put it in the bike's basket. As I was about to leave I thought to myself that if I fell the bottle would break. So I drank all the vodka and then headed home. It turned out to be a really good decision because I fell eleven times on my way home.
Take the s away in safe and the f away in way.
Did You Know…
In Las Vegas there are more Catholic Churches than casinos. Not surprisingly some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed In.
This is done by the chip monks.
My dad said “No, that was a clothes one.”
The guy asks the waiter "Excuse me, is this gluten free?"
The waiter responds "Well it's complimentary as long as you order an entree"
They both Carry-Yolk-Ee
What did the basketball player say when his shot did not go in?
'H'OOPS!
I asked if we could get some for the humans too.
Basket Bawl
(These puns will be the end of me JFC)
... and Pharaoh was in de Nile.
That's the last time i order from oedipal arrangements!
The bees think that this ability is just the bee's knees.
But theres too many drawbacks
It was his first basket case
Dad: "You know what they call basket holders?"
Me: "...What?"
Dad: "Basket cases!"
This was followed by him laughing hysterically while I stared in disbelief. He asked my to share it on this subreddit when I told him about it.
She was a mathemachicken.
Really?
Yeah, he was a real Basket case
The other day I was at a DIY shop, buying various tools for around the house. In my basket was a hammer, and when it travelled along the conveyor belt and reached the checkout girl I shouted 'Stop!'.
She just looked at me blankly, and I was too embarrassed to finish the joke.
An actual dad joke from about an hour ago. He delivered it flawlessly.
My dad holds up the empty bread basket to the waiter and, with a serious face, says "this bread, we have naan."
I walk through the house with 3 empty laundry baskets.
Wife: "Having fun?"
Me: "Loads."
I watched it all unfold.
I watched it all unfold.
I watched it all unfold.
I watched it all unfold.
It may sound far-fetched but it’s true.
I watched it all unfold.
I pleaded, “Can I at least Taekwondo?”
I said, “Can I at least Taekwondo?”
I watched it all unfold.
bought a bottle of whiskey and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off my bike, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the whiskey and then rode home.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on the way home!
