They are all free of charge
I think I'll label it the "Ex-Files"
"No, I was hoping you'd just give them to us, for free."
One asked, "Why are we going so fast?" "Don't you see?" said the other. "It says 'Tear along dashed line.'"
...they'll kill your dog.
He had a deadly right hook.
It took a long time, but she finally honed her Kraft.
But hey, at least he gave a shit.
I guess they don't sell stationery boxes.
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
It got so frustrating they decided to hire a chipmunk
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
A jolly rancher
Because it's a great fix-a-tiff.
No but I’ll wrestle you for them.
Can't wait to see their faces when they realize they have a puppy.
I have to decide if I have $20 to burn.
I'll call it Little Seizures.
You never know which ones have the nuts.
Yeah, he can clock you a good one.
I said, "No but I'll wrestle you for them."
Unfortunately they weren't able to help me in the end as I wasn't able to find the box's cereal number.
It's destroyed remarkably fast by an emotional woman.
He was as famous for his barrage of punches as he was for his rhyming taunts before a big match.
The called him the Jabberwookie.
All it does is deter gents
Coworker found a loophole and it’s mostly dressed as a bear. I’ve used all my bear puns! Help me make more! Work at a gas station/pizza place
I said “nah, I’ll just turn the lights off.”
Amazon Prime
There was once a boy. He was the son of the richest man in the universe. Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, he dwarfed them all. He was a multi-trillionaire. Now, it was this boy's birthday. His father asked him,
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. A store full of lego, all the video games in the world, anything. What would you like?"
His son replied.
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one pink ping pong ball."
His father was rather confused by this request. Out of all the things he could've chosen, his son chose a ping pong ball. Nonetheless, he agreed and gave him a pink ping pong ball. His son was overjoyed and spoke to him.
"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong ball?"
"Okay son, go ahead."
The boy then went up to his room and played with his pink ping pong ball. When his father went in the next morning to check on him, the boy was sleeping in his bed and the pink ping pong ball was nowhere to be found.
On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"
His son replied.
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one box full of pink ping pong balls."
His father was again, confused by this. Still, he bought a cardboard box and filled it with ping pong balls. He gave it to his son, who said.
"My father, you have made me the happiest boy in the world. May I go up to my room and play with my pink ping pong balls?"
The father nodded, and the son went up to his room to play. The next morning when his father went to check, the boy was sleeping peacefully and there were no pink ping pong balls in sight. Just the empty cardboard box in the middle of the room.
On the boy's next birthday, his father asked him again.
"My son. I am the richest man in the universe. I could buy you anything you want for your birthday. What would you like?"
"Oh father. It would make me the happiest boy in the world if you could get me one truck full of ping pong balls."
Now, by this point, the father was extremely confused. Why did the boy want so many pink ping pong balls and where were they going? He asked.
"My son. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I can certainly get you this, but may I ask, why do you want
... keep reading on reddit ➡The poop deck.
I don’t know what to make of it.
What do you call Al Gore beat-boxing/rapping? An Al-Gore-Rythm 😁
They were in four mints.
...well, actually, the full statement was “you’re pretty annoying”, but I only focus on positive things.
and the box said 2-4 years!
This morning I woke up and my pillow was gone.
Today is the 13th anniversary of my father passing and this was my favorite joke that he used to tell. Enjoy.
Never mind it’s a sea-crate....
(I made this up please don’t murder me)
They did unspeakable things to me
He had a vicious right hook.
He’s Jack in the box.
They call me Dyson Fury
I told her “No I would rather wrestle for it”.
I thought it was a safe bet.
Me: no. But I’ll wrestle you for them!
