Basketful of Heads Puns

I got a bottle of vodka and put it in the bike's basket. As I was about to leave I thought to myself that if I fell the bottle would break. So I drank all the vodka and then headed home. It turned out to be a really good decision because I fell eleven times on my way home.

This is actually a two-in-one deal as both my step dad and dad were involved with the joke. My family and I were watching my sister's basketball game and one of her teammates hit her head on the court.

Stepdad: "She looks disoriented I guess she's seeing double."

Dad: "So every basket should count as 4 points."