I was placed under arrest for downloading the whole Wikipedia website

I told the officer "Wait! I can explain everything!!"

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manuel_f_p
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Me to cop: "You cant arrest me.I have a marathon to run."

Cop: "Stop playing the race card."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
After 6 cardiac arrests the doctor convinced me to go for surgery!

I really needed that change of heart!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?

The duck was selling quack

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWolfman29
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What bird a cop can arrest?

Ill-Eagle

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OshriM
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A drunk dude decided to drive and get more beer. After being pulled over and questioned by the cop, the cop said β€œ sir I’m going to have to put you under arrest.” The guy then said

Bud-wei-ser?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exier--
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the dinosaurs that arrest other dinosaurs for stealing?

The triceracops.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/copenhagen_bram
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
bitch sent me into cardiac arrest
πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bayeek
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did they arrest the owl?

He's from the hoot

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?

For just-ice

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thunderfighter6
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer arrest the cow for?

Disudderly conduct.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrlonelywolf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the cop arrest the duck?

Because peace was never an option.

P.S it was selling quack.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ccchapagain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the government arrest a rancher who fed cannabis to his cattle?

The stakes were too high.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/this_is_grand
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin

They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaosBadger777
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was arrested at the beach for feeding pot brownies to the seagulls. It was his third such arrest because, as he put it,...

β€œI shall leave no tern unstoned.”

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeroing-in
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the child arrest for not taking a nap?

He was guilty of resisting a rest.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aplay1
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Officer threatened me with arrest if he couldn't take what he wanted from my electronics store

Just another cop on a power strip.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you have any outstanding warrants for your arrest?

Sorry, officer. They’re all pretty mediocre.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chx_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the FBI arrest the introvert?

He didn't want to open up

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmowithhardpve
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Police tried to arrest some jeans....

they just couldn’t get them cuffed.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaesquared
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A cop busts into a strip club to arrest a guy and yells...

Freeze, you're under abreast!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crowby3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I never understood cardiac arrest, but after medical training

I can finally defibrelate

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HakunaTraumata
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
You're under arrest!

My boss' 7 year old daughter came to work and ran up to me with this one:

"You're under arrest!" "For what?! You have no proof!" thinks to herself before running to get box packing tape "I have the security tape right here!"

πŸ‘

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetroPolitan23
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did mona lisa resist the arrest ?

Cuz da Vinci had framed her

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puncakes20101
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the naked guy found circling the same bush over and over again at the park? The cops came to arrest him for indecent exposure. When asked why he would do such a thing...

he kept beating around the bush.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5d2248650
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the cop arrest his infant son?

Because he was resisting a rest

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did they arrest the Mexican train conductor?

Because he had a loco motive!

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xiamenlamian
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
🚨︎ report
When cant the cops arrest you for smoking weed?

On highway

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aSnowBall
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
You're under arrest
πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manvsinternetz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the police arrest the hospital patient for?

He was under cardiac arrest

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yugeceo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did animal control arrest the dog on the side of the road who was giving birth?

She was littering.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone really needs to arrest the night sky for indecent exposure.

It keeps mooning me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J0h4n50n
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did they arrest the guy who buried people in cement?

They had concrete evidence against him.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edgy_white_male
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Always carry around handcuff keys, it can get you out of cardiac arrest
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Untiled_One
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Cops arrest two kids! One for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fireworks.

They plan to charge one and let the other one off.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoodleBobs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikhilbhavsar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I called the police because a man was screaming about large bodies of water and outdoor storage units, but when the police arrived they couldn't arrest him, as he denied everything.

It was a real "He Said Sea Shed" situation.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you arrest a bunch of Catholics?

A mass incarceration.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pizzapoppie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Police arrest albacore abusers...

All part of the tuna-lick fringe.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Officer: You’re under arrest for stealing the Wikipedia servers...

Me: But officer, I can explain everything!

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themeatspin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Cop: you’re under arrest for illegally downloading all of Wikipedia.

Me: wait, officer, I can explain everything!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aheadassnigga
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œYou are under arrest for downloading the whole of Wikipedia!”

β€œWait, I can explain everything.”

πŸ‘︎ 181
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report

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