I was placed under arrest for downloading the whole Wikipedia website
I told the officer "Wait! I can explain everything!!"
π︎ 73
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
Me to cop: "You cant arrest me.I have a marathon to run."
Cop: "Stop playing the race card."
π︎ 16
π
︎ Feb 27 2021
After 6 cardiac arrests the doctor convinced me to go for surgery!
I really needed that change of heart!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?
The duck was selling quack
π︎ 112
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
What bird a cop can arrest?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
A drunk dude decided to drive and get more beer. After being pulled over and questioned by the cop, the cop said β sir Iβm going to have to put you under arrest.β The guy then said
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
What do you call the dinosaurs that arrest other dinosaurs for stealing?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
bitch sent me into cardiac arrest
π︎ 49
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
Why did they arrest the owl?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
What did the police officer arrest the cow for?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
Why did the cop arrest the duck?
Because peace was never an option.
P.S it was selling quack.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
Why did the government arrest a rancher who fed cannabis to his cattle?
The stakes were too high.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 21 2020
A man was arrested at the beach for feeding pot brownies to the seagulls. It was his third such arrest because, as he put it,...
βI shall leave no tern unstoned.β
π︎ 36
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
Why was the child arrest for not taking a nap?
He was guilty of resisting a rest.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 18 2020
Officer threatened me with arrest if he couldn't take what he wanted from my electronics store
Just another cop on a power strip.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
Do you have any outstanding warrants for your arrest?
Sorry, officer. Theyβre all pretty mediocre.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 05 2020
Why did the FBI arrest the introvert?
He didn't want to open up
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 08 2020
Police tried to arrest some jeans....
they just couldnβt get them cuffed.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 13 2019
A cop busts into a strip club to arrest a guy and yells...
Freeze, you're under abreast!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 09 2019
I never understood cardiac arrest, but after medical training
I can finally defibrelate
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 15 2019
You're under arrest!
My boss' 7 year old daughter came to work and ran up to me with this one:
"You're under arrest!"
"For what?! You have no proof!"
thinks to herself before running to get box packing tape
"I have the security tape right here!"
π
π︎ 23
π
︎ Feb 10 2019
Why did mona lisa resist the arrest ?
Cuz da Vinci had framed her
π︎ 39
π
︎ Jul 06 2018
Did you hear about the naked guy found circling the same bush over and over again at the park? The cops came to arrest him for indecent exposure. When asked why he would do such a thing...
he kept beating around the bush.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 17 2019
Why did the cop arrest his infant son?
Because he was resisting a rest
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
Why did they arrest the Mexican train conductor?
Because he had a loco motive!
π︎ 39
π
︎ Mar 15 2018
When cant the cops arrest you for smoking weed?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 26 2019
You're under arrest
π︎ 69
π
︎ Feb 07 2018
What did the police arrest the hospital patient for?
He was under cardiac arrest
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 18 2019
Why did animal control arrest the dog on the side of the road who was giving birth?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 11 2019
Someone really needs to arrest the night sky for indecent exposure.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 14 2019
Why did they arrest the guy who buried people in cement?
They had concrete evidence against him.
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 06 2018
Always carry around handcuff keys, it can get you out of cardiac arrest
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 01 2019
Cops arrest two kids! One for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fireworks.
They plan to charge one and let the other one off.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Aug 28 2018
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 14 2018
I called the police because a man was screaming about large bodies of water and outdoor storage units, but when the police arrived they couldn't arrest him, as he denied everything.
It was a real "He Said Sea Shed" situation.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 24 2018
What do you call it when you arrest a bunch of Catholics?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 23 2018
Police arrest albacore abusers...
All part of the tuna-lick fringe.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 12 2018
Officer: Youβre under arrest for stealing the Wikipedia servers...
Me: But officer, I can explain everything!
π︎ 51
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
Cop: youβre under arrest for illegally downloading all of Wikipedia.
Me: wait, officer, I can explain everything!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 17 2019
βYou are under arrest for downloading the whole of Wikipedia!β
βWait, I can explain everything.β
π︎ 181
π
︎ Nov 12 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.