The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the street.
A semicolon got arrested
It got 2 back to back sentences.
I got arrested at NASA.
I didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
Edit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers!
Gamora: "I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."
If you are on the first floor of a building, and someone one the second floor is being arrested, are you...
My local barber was arrested for dealing drugs in my neighborhood.
I've gone to him for 5 years and I never knew he was a barber.
French swing-dancing flash mob exclaims in dismay at being arrested for disorderly conduct.
Why did the clock get arrested?
They arrested the arsonist in a pie truck
Why did the tyrannosaurus get arrested?
A German women was arrested for faking her taxes
Did you hear about the thief who was re-arrested in the courtroom?
Two guys were arrested for stealing a calendar... They both got 6 months
A fraudster who installs kitchen worktops for a living got arrested
Police say he was charged with counter fitting
Why did the T-Rex behind the blackjack table get arrested?
He was small arms dealing
I got arrested for stepping on a cheerio
Guess the authorities thought I was a cereal killer
I was arrested for downloading the entirety of Wikipedia
I told them I could explain everything.
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
The cops arrested 2 kids at the park. One was eating battery acid, the other was eating fireworks
They charged one and let off the other!
A mime broke his left arm in a bar fight and got arrested,
He still has the right to remain silent.
Why was the ghost that haunted the pharmacy arrested?
Illegal possession of drugs.
Why was the Pepsi employee arrested?
Because he was selling Coke.
Btw this is my first post on Reddit :)
Why couldn't Abraham Lincoln be arrested?
Was watching Arrested Development the other day and my girlfriend made a groaner of a dad joke.
Lucille: “I have to get Dusty ice cream.”
GF: “Dusty ice cream doesn’t sound very good”
The police arrested my daughter claiming she had burnt our house down.
Why was the pancake arrested?
A cannibal in Northern Germany is arrested while grilling beef patties.
He is accused of eating both hamburgers and Hamburgers.
The police arrested a duck.
When the Wright Brothers were arrested for trespassing at Kitty Hawk, the judge refused to grant them bail...
...he considered them a flight risk.
Just heard that the Energizer Bunny has been arrested
He's been charged with battery
Fred Flintstone was arrested for drug possession.
Don't worry, he's getting the help he needs. He's already checked into Rehabba-dabba-doo!
Why was the musician arrested?
Did you guys hear about the robot who got arrested?
He was charged with battery
My kid’s chemistry teacher was arrested in class yesterday. He was pouring out teaspoons of sodium chloride for each student, but because the class was rowdy, he kept losing his place and having to start over.
The police charged him with multiple counts of a salt.
A person was arrested at the special Olympics.
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
I was arrested yesterday after neighbours complained about me playing Englebert Humperdink records all night
Police released me, let me go!
Why would a member of The Muppets be arrested?
Why was the tree arrested
Back in 56' my neighbor was arrested for supporting the USSR...
The officials said it was "a big red flag".
I was arrested for having jello in the shape of a gun in my bag
The officers charged me for having a congealed weapon
Doctor arrested for theft. He checked the purse of his patient.
what was the veterinary arrested for
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested..
I hear they are gonna give him a really tough sentence.
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the side of the road ...
They charged her with littering!
The police arrested to kids yesterday, one was eating fireworks, and the other was drinking battery acid
They charged one, and let the other off
The police arrested my daughter claiming she had burnt our house down.
The world tongue twister champion just got arrested.
I heard they're going to give him a really tough sentence...
I got arrested for stealing a calendar
The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states
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