A list of puns related to "Arises"
It was Sir Eel.
I will ask people where they like to get a good burger, usual suspects arise and I ask them if they've ever had 5 guys.
They'll respond oh yeah their burgers are great!
I'll respond with when was the last time you did 5 guys?
They'll say oh a couple weeks ago...
I'll say were you sore after?!? Then give it 3 seconds before they get it.
So I cut my hand quite badly and had to go to get stitches.
The doctor's sewing me up and I remember an old joke that I swore I'd use should the oppurtunity ever arise.
I says "Doc, when this heals up am I gonna be able to play the piano?"
Doctor says "Of course."
I say "that's odd I wasn't able to play the piano before."
The doctor then sets me up for a little improv, he laughs politely and says "funny"
I say "Doc! I'm funny? You've got me in stitches."
A dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him.
He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
By the way he does not need to pay for medical insurance.
He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head.......
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A dog is like a βPOLITICIANβ
Her boss, the head doctor, wasn't in a good mood this morning so I say:
Me: "Hopefully she doesn't get under your skin too much."
Her: "Oh that was awful. Really got me skin deep there."
Me: "Yeah I was a little rash with that word choice, but I'm not even sorry. Hopefully atopic better than this will arise."
Her: "groans over text"
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