My masterpiece! (Answer/pun in comments)
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︎ Sep 16 2020
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you're thinking)
Not what you're thinking.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
What is the answer for climate change?
I donβt know but weβre getting warmer
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︎ Mar 16 2021
My professor wrote on his syllabus "If anyone asks me how I'm doing, my answer will always be 'I am great, how are you?'"
So when we ask him how he's doing, his answer is "It's on the syllabus".
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Takes me forever to answer letters. I have a snailure to communicate.
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...
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︎ Dec 26 2020
My dad had a burning question about grammar and I didn't know the answer so I came here to ask it.
His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"
"Or should I spread them apart?"
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︎ Feb 02 2021
I wonder if the host of Jeopardy! absorbed all the trivia he used as answers... he woulda been mighty intelligent...
It would have made him a smart Alec.
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︎ Mar 02 2021
My friend became monk recently. I asked him if he'd take a vow of silence, but he didn't answer
I guess it goes without saying
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︎ Feb 04 2021
I asked my hiker buddy about where his last adventure was, but he couldn't answer me.
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︎ Jan 20 2021
My dadβs answer to everything is alcohol....
He doesnβt drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles...
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Wanted a unique name for our new pet dog and asked a friend for ideas. His answer?
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︎ Jan 18 2021
My coworker asked what itβs called when you ask something but havenβt gotten an answer yet.
I told him thatβs an outstanding question.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..π©
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︎ Nov 19 2020
No Concrete Answer Given.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"
The teacher said it had to be specific
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︎ Nov 18 2020
We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?
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︎ Sep 24 2020
I keep asking iris why some people have dyslexia, but she won't answer.
Maybe my iPhone is just broken.
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︎ Jul 14 2020
My dad's answer to what came first, the chicken or the egg?
The one you ordered first.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
The man with the answers
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︎ Oct 01 2020
A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs. So he calls the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what heβs found...
She says, βOh, thatβs horrible. Are they moving?β
The guy replies, βI donβt know, but that would explain the suitcase.β
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︎ Jun 30 2020
Violins is never the answer
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︎ Dec 05 2019
The answer is what happened
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︎ Aug 21 2020
More than math and physics can answer
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︎ Dec 07 2019
I've been on edge today searching for the answer.
I usually use Chrome, but today I'm on Edge.
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︎ Oct 07 2020
The DJs at prom don't techno for an answer
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︎ May 04 2020
Sry I dont answer my phone on 9/11 . . .
I keep it on airplane mode.
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︎ Sep 11 2020
Confucius knew the answers to all of lifeβs questions.
The same cannot be said of his twin brother, Confusion.
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︎ Jun 11 2020
Any time I ask my dad how he learned Braille, he refuses to give me a straight answer.
For him, itβs a touchy subject.
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︎ Jul 15 2020
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
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︎ Sep 19 2020
Answer: Sis, boom, bah.
Question: What is the sound of an exploding sheep?
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︎ Sep 04 2020
A woman in the shower hears the doorbell. "It's the blind man". So she answers the door naked...
"Nice bewbs! Now where do you want me to hang the blind?"
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︎ Jun 14 2020
Still canβt find the answer
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︎ May 25 2020
Think of a number between 5 and 15. Multiply by 2, add 3, and subtract 7 from the answer. Now close your eyes.
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︎ Feb 25 2019
I asked my daughter which state she likes most in the USA, but she didn't answer!
It's ok, Alaska again later.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
Somebody asked me to describe my life as an amputee, but I couldn't answer.
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︎ Apr 12 2020
Answer the question woman!
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︎ Jun 10 2020
motivating an answer
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︎ Dec 14 2018
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
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︎ Aug 14 2020
I asked my friends what is Potassium and was expecting an answer
But she clearly didnβt understand the question because she only said βK.β
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︎ Jul 08 2020
I asked my friend what he was doing with all the cement he bought. He didn't give me a concrete answer.
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︎ Apr 20 2020
I think the President has all the answers on COVID-19...
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︎ Mar 27 2020
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer..."
"...but itβs worth a shot."
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︎ Feb 03 2019
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you are thinking)
Not what you are thinking.
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︎ Dec 20 2018
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