A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you're thinking)
Not what you're thinking.
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer!"
What is the answer for climate change?
I don’t know but we’re getting warmer
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...
My dad had a burning question about grammar and I didn't know the answer so I came here to ask it.
His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"
"Or should I spread them apart?"
I wonder if the host of Jeopardy! absorbed all the trivia he used as answers... he woulda been mighty intelligent...
It would have made him a smart Alec.
I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..💩
What is never the answer?
Not violence, because violence is never the answer.
We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?
Violins is never the answer
My dad's answer to what came first, the chicken or the egg?
The one you ordered first.
A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs. So he calls the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what he’s found...
She says, “Oh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”
The guy replies, “I don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”
The answer is what happened
I've been on edge today searching for the answer.
I usually use Chrome, but today I'm on Edge.
The DJs at prom don't techno for an answer
Confucius knew the answers to all of life’s questions.
The same cannot be said of his twin brother, Confusion.
A woman in the shower hears the doorbell. "It's the blind man". So she answers the door naked...
"Nice bewbs! Now where do you want me to hang the blind?"
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
Think of a number between 5 and 15. Multiply by 2, add 3, and subtract 7 from the answer. Now close your eyes.
Still can’t find the answer
Answer the question woman!
I asked my daughter which state she likes most in the USA, but she didn't answer!
It's ok, Alaska again later.
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
I asked my friend what he was doing with all the cement he bought. He didn't give me a concrete answer.
I think the President has all the answers on COVID-19...
Ok babe, I have a question. I'm pretty sure the answer is no...
...but what is the opposite of yes?
A tough one found on the Punderland home on Balboa Island. (Answer in comments)
A cowboy comes to his boss his ranch and says 'thats all 50 cows boss'. The boss answers 'how did you get 50? I only got 48!'
The cowboy answers 'I know, I rounded them up.'
What is the best gift you can give someone? Answer: a broken drum...
I wanted to know how to build big muscular shoulders. I tried asking a guy with big traps at the gym, but I still have no answer...
...every time I ask him, he just shrugs.
Drugs are never the answer.
But it is a five letter clue for a crossword puzzle.
A geography teaches picks two students, one an exchange student from Japan and the other a native, to answer a question about state capitals. “What is the capital of Ohio?”, the teacher asks.
The native student answers “Cleveland”, much to the teacher’s chagrin. The Exchange student on the other hand, answers “It’s a bit late, but Gozaimasu!”
Which Witcher character knows the answers to all quiz questions?
Your mom had to get a tuberculosis test for work. I guess we'll finally have an answer to the age-old question . . .
Danger, Fear, and Panic came knocking at my door. It'd been ten years since the last visit, and all holding clipboards, were ready to begin the inquisition. Nervously, I opened the door and prepared myself to answer their calling.
What's worse than a person with all the answers?
Why Couldn't the Rope Answer the Phone?
Because it was all tied up!
The answer to an addition problem is the...
I had a frightening math joke where the answer comes out to 4.
But I'm 2^2 to even say it.
Can't answer the question
My wife: I'm not in any kind of state to be answering questions like that!
Me: What questions DO they answer in Florida?
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you are thinking)
Not what you are thinking.
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer..."
"...but it’s worth a shot."
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer..."
"...but it’s worth a shot."
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