My masterpiece! (Answer/pun in comments)
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
My dad had a burning question about grammar and I didn't know the answer so I came here to ask it.
His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"
"Or should I spread them apart?"
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...
My friend became monk recently. I asked him if he'd take a vow of silence, but he didn't answer
I guess it goes without saying
I bought a new answering machine.....
Called my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, could you please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?" She answered, "Yeah..."
"But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now!"
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same
I asked my hiker buddy about where his last adventure was, but he couldn't answer me.
Wanted a unique name for our new pet dog and asked a friend for ideas. His answer?
My coworker asked what it’s called when you ask something but haven’t gotten an answer yet.
I told him that’s an outstanding question.
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..💩
My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol....
He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles...
No Concrete Answer Given.
An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"
The teacher said it had to be specific
Doctor to patient do you smoke?
Patient: yes.
Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?
Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.
My dad's answer to what came first, the chicken or the egg?
The one you ordered first.
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."
I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."
My calculator only has enough power left to do one calculation
I really have to make it count
What is the difference between a radius and a diameter?
We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
The guy who stole my diary died yesterday.
My thoughts are with his family.
I keep asking iris why some people have dyslexia, but she won't answer.
Maybe my iPhone is just broken.
A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs. So he calls the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what he’s found...
She says, “Oh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”
The guy replies, “I don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”
My kid asked me what's my favorite month and I answered, "July".
She asked again: Why July?
I said: I didn't lie.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn’t want to miss any calls.
I've been on edge today searching for the answer.
I usually use Chrome, but today I'm on Edge.
The answer is what happened
Violins is never the answer
Sry I dont answer my phone on 9/11 . . .
I keep it on airplane mode.
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.
When I bought my friend an elephant for their room, they said thank you. I answered...
More than math and physics can answer
The DJs at prom don't techno for an answer
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)
Any time I ask my dad how he learned Braille, he refuses to give me a straight answer.
For him, it’s a touchy subject.
Answer: Sis, boom, bah.
Question: What is the sound of an exploding sheep?
Confucius knew the answers to all of life’s questions.
The same cannot be said of his twin brother, Confusion.
My friend is addicted to watching other people eat a gingerbread house.
Doctors are calling it munch housing by proxy.
A woman in the shower hears the doorbell. "It's the blind man". So she answers the door naked...
"Nice bewbs! Now where do you want me to hang the blind?"
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
