Nothing fancy, but was something I could always see myself doing.
“Are you sleeping?”
A Why-noceros
Patient: no, I think I'll see my self out.
I do
What's the point?
Because they don't have pockets.
He said "I don't think that's a weakness"
"Well I don't give a f* what you think"
"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"
"16!"
"How did you figure that out."
"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!
A student asked "what if you're ugly?'
As an old dad, I was befuddled for a moment before asking "did you just tell a dad joke?" She grinned, and I commissioned her as a dad on the spot.
“I do!"
In my eyes, this sub has a serious problem with non-dadjoke posts. Sub-reddit rule #1 is "Jokes must be dad jokes.". What good are the rules if they aren't enforced? I do realize that what constitutes a dadjoke might not be clarely defined, but we get a lot of posts that are marked nsfw. That's a "This is not a dadjoke"-flag. Why not start with removing nsfw posts?
PS: Why do we have rule #6? It is not possible for a dadjoke to be nsfw, so it should never be relevant.
...?
Can you shave it for later?
So imagine you are transexual but suddenly one day you decide to stop being it. Then you are Trans former?
His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"
"Or should I spread them apart?"
I said, "Sure, why not?"
(Apparently you get deleted by a bot for having the punchline in the title, forcing me to spoil the joke by including some text rather than leaving this blank as it should be to get the full effect.)
A terrible journalist.
Jen, you in the living room?
They only have a pair of trunks.
-my grandfather, just 5 minutes ago.
"Cash or charge?"
The duck replies, "Nah....Just put it on my bill!"
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
They were Inca hoots.
I am asking two of my girlfriends to be my bridesmaids and wanted to word the question in a punny way related to their careers- one is a first-year medical resident and the other is a law student. I would like to flatter them/make it funny. Any and all ideas are appreciated!! If there is a better sub to ask this question please let me know:))
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
“It’s to look at.”
Just floating the question out there.... Can anyone give me a tip?
Answer: Barbie's bongos.
Should tortillas be sent flat rate? Is armor headgear sent over knight? Is an addicts mail tracked? Is mail to Gold's gym sent bulk rate? Should mail to a school's kindergarten be sent 1st class? Should the IRS send return receipts? just wondering...
Is this a trick question?
A radius.
scene where Yoda gets so tired of answering Luke's questions that he just dies.
..Who hurt you?
Why is today not National ballerina day?
I mean it is 2-2 after all
You must be from Mars, eh?
A meteorite is a small meteor, right?
Full credit to my son, he will truly make a great dad some day.
Two. The real question is, how did they get in there?
"AYE MATEY."
Your thots will betray you.
Like bro you were there!
Me: one you get lucky and the other you don't.
She was mad enough to leave the room...
