Interviewer: Your resume says you take things too literally

Me: When did my resume learn to talk?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Do you guys remember that Chris Farley SNL sketch where he played the timid interviewer guy?

That was awesome

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Getting interviewed for a job as a blacksmith: Interviewer: Do you have any experience shoeing a horse?

Me: No, but I once told a donkey to F off.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CameronC7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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At a job interview the interviewer asked me why i had a 4 year gap in my resume. I told him, that it’s because i went to yale. He looked impressed and told me i’m hired.

Woohoo, i got a yob! :D

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zapyre
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Interviewer: "How good are you at PowerPoint?"

Me: "I Excel at it."

Interviewer: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word".

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Interviewer: what's your name? Me: Hired.

Interview: You're hired? Me: Thanks for the job!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sb4410
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Interviewer: We only hire people who are responsible.

Me: Well, your search ends today. At my previous job, whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.

πŸ‘︎ 801
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CameronC7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? Me: That’s when I went to Yale... Interviewer: That’s impressive. You are hired.

Me: Thanks. I really need this Yob.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Vile1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Interviewer: "So, how was your last job in a nut shell?"

Me: "I never worked in a nut shell."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Interviewer to Wright brothers ,"Where do you see yourselves in 5 years"?

Wright up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stent_kush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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My interviewer asked if I could preform under pressure.

I said no, but I can do a good Bohemian Rhapsody

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheezzlez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Interviewer: What did you do at your last job?

Me: I played video games

Interviewer: Why were you terminated?

Me: I played video games.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure?

No, but I can give Bohemian Rhapsody a go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_person
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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Interviewer: How would you describe yourself?

Me: Verbally. But I’ve also prepared a dance.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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I was at work when i passed by the interviewer's office and saw a small bear walk out depressed, I went in and asked "Whats his deal?"

They said he wasn't Koalafied

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waterburst789
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure

Me: I don’t know about that but I can take a stab at Bohemian Rhapsody

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CashMoney6661
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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Interviewer: So why do you think you’d be a good waiter?

Well, I can bring a lot to the table.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_person
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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Interviewer: So you're the guy who invented pillars?

Guy: Yep. Interviewer: Pillar is kind of a strange name, why go with that? Guy: I didn't know what else to call 'em.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaSpoCrew
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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A man is at a job interview and the interviewer asks him β€œSo why do you think you’d make a good waiter” and the man replied β€œWell, I think I could bring a lot to the table”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CHEEZY_21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Interviewer asked me if I'd be a good waiter...

Well, you could say I bring a lot to the table.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burritoman_209
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2017
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Interviewer: "I see there's a four year gap on your resume. What were you doing then?" Me: "I went to Yale in 2010" Interviewer: "Impressive! You're hired"

Me: "Thanks. I really need this yob"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center... The interviewer asked me if I can work well under pressure
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? Me: That's when I went to Yale... Interviewer: That's impressive. You are hired.

Me: Thanks. I really need this yob.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked whether I had a criminal record.

I replied: "No. Is that still a requirement?"

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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A man is interviewing for a job in the mines. The interviewer asks, β€œwould you prefer mining for iron or copper?”

The man replies, β€œEither ore works!”

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Interviewer: what level of expertise do you have with spreadsheets?

Me: I excel at it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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I kept telling my interviewers that I’m not a plumber, but they offered me the job anyway.

It took a long time to let that sink in.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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Interviewer: What are your thoughts about Harry Potter as a character?

JK. Rowling: He's good in my book.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/delicious_eagle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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The interviewer caught me lying on my CV.

"Get up!" he shouted. "Why the hell are you trying to sleep in an interview?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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Interviewer: Why do you think you’ll be a good waiter?

Me: You could say I bring a lot to the table.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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Interviewer: β€œSo Serena, what’s your favourite planet?”

Serena Williams: It’s Venus.

Interviewer: I’m sorry Venus, could you put Serena on the phone?

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
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An interviewer asked me, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

I replied, "Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision"

πŸ‘︎ 247
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danny_JD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
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Interviewer: Your reference letters said that you take things too literally.

Me: Whoa! Reference letters can talk now?

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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The job interviewer asked me about my previous experiences.

I said, "Well, I got the bus...went for a coffee...then walked here."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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Dad joked my interviewer today.

So i went in for an interview at my local State college. It used to be a community college a few years ago. The job was for evaluating transcripts and archiving them. Anyway, I get offered the job, and of course a I accept. We were going over some procedural paperwork, I-9, W-4 you know that stuff.

He asks me my birthday, and I say June 24.

"What year?" "Every year."

He just stares at me with a bit of a disgruntled expression.

Yeah new boss, I'm going to be that guy.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smubii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
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I dad joked my interviewer.

During a phone interview, I was asked to compute some basic physics problems without a calculator. One question involved estimating if a baseball would clear the fence when hit. I told the interviewer that I would approximate gravitational acceleration to 10 m/s^2 to give me "a ballpark answer."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/splorkt
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2015
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The interviewer got a little confused there

http://i.imgur.com/y8SJJwv.png

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/birnes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2014
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