My masterpiece! (Answer/pun in comments)
I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..💩
No Concrete Answer Given.
An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"
The teacher said it had to be specific
My dad's answer to what came first, the chicken or the egg?
The one you ordered first.
Doctor to patient do you smoke?
Patient: yes.
Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?
Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.
My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol....
He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles...
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."
I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
The guy who stole my diary died yesterday.
My thoughts are with his family.
We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?
I keep asking iris why some people have dyslexia, but she won't answer.
Maybe my iPhone is just broken.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn’t want to miss any calls.
My kid asked me what's my favorite month and I answered, "July".
She asked again: Why July?
I said: I didn't lie.
I've been on edge today searching for the answer.
I usually use Chrome, but today I'm on Edge.
A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs. So he calls the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what he’s found...
She says, “Oh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”
The guy replies, “I don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”
The answer is what happened
Sry I dont answer my phone on 9/11 . . .
I keep it on airplane mode.
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)
Violins is never the answer
Answer: Sis, boom, bah.
Question: What is the sound of an exploding sheep?
When I bought my friend an elephant for their room, they said thank you. I answered...
My son asked me, “Dad, what are condoms used for?”
I said, “Usually to avoid answering questions like this one.”
Any time I ask my dad how he learned Braille, he refuses to give me a straight answer.
For him, it’s a touchy subject.
The DJs at prom don't techno for an answer
Confucius knew the answers to all of life’s questions.
The same cannot be said of his twin brother, Confusion.
My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.” I was home in 5 minutes.
I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.
More than math and physics can answer
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
A woman in the shower hears the doorbell. "It's the blind man". So she answers the door naked...
"Nice bewbs! Now where do you want me to hang the blind?"
I asked my daughter which state she likes most in the USA, but she didn't answer!
It's ok, Alaska again later.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you..."
I asked my dermatologist why my skin is so itchy a year ago, and he still hasn’t answered me.
I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to make a rash decision.
Still can’t find the answer
Answer the question woman!
Somebody asked me to describe my life as an amputee, but I couldn't answer.
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
I asked my friends what is Potassium and was expecting an answer
But she clearly didn’t understand the question because she only said “K.”
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
Think of a number between 5 and 15. Multiply by 2, add 3, and subtract 7 from the answer. Now close your eyes.
My girlfriend left me because I didn't answer her when she asked me for an eleven letter synonym of "complex".
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