She must aMENd things
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/evilgaysurvivor6
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2021
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According to the second amendment, I have the right to bear arms

Now what do I do about the rest of the animal?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_ZEN0N_
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2021
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This is what being American is all about. Second Amendment Lights.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 109
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheDorkKnight53
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 24 2021
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New Amendment to the Constitution

Can we not pass a new amendment to the Constitution that all Politicians must obey? I want this new Amendment to read: "Don't be a cunt."

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GeckoInTexas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2021
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What did the US Constitution say to the 8th Amendment?

You my lil' shorty.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyLifeHurtsRightNow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
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I just heard that the government has made an amendment to lockdown to allow Father Christmas out...

It's called the Santa Clause

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2020
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She's a huge supporter of the 2nd Amendment imgur.com/DsH4xDI
πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mammothman64
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2019
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Second Amendment

If you are against the second amendment, you could get fired.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1smaels
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2019
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There's an amendment in America for people to wear T-shirts.

I call it "The Right To Bare Arms"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dajafo01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2019
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I can't believe the girls at school can't wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment...

Don't they have a right to bare arms?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Origamibyameer1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2018
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Did you hear about the knitters for the 2nd Amendment?

Dont thread on me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/protoprf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2019
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I'm not sure I can tell you word-for-word what the 2nd Amendment is...

But I'll take a shot at it!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2019
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Between the First Amendment's freedom of assembly and the Eighth Amendment's no cruel and unusual punishment, the US Constitution is basically saying "some assembly required, battery not included."
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sylvanussr
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2017
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Why did Yogi like the second amendment?

Because he loved his bear arms

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Da_Braz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2017
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Americans love frozen fruit so much, they wrote it into the constitution...

The 1st amendment is the right to freeze peach.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2020
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So in school we’re learning about the Bill of Rights, and today we talked about the second amendment. It says we have the right to β€œbear Arms,” but I was curious where the right to bear Feet is.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OhTheComedy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2017
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The Second Amendment imgur.com/ejIIXaK
πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2014
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What's a bird's favorite amendment?

Freedom of SCREECH!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bluebonnetcafe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2017
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Follows Second Amendment: Right To Bear Arms
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StartCase
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2011
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I received a letter the other day saying my tax return was 'outstanding'.

Although it's lovely to receive such high praise from HMRC, to be honest I can't even remember sending one in.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2018
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Senator Cruz didn't like it when an editorial cartoon depicted him as a Borg

His Chief of Staff explained to him that in the US, the First Amendment guaranteed all citizens the right to free speech, and that yes this did indeed include unflattering depictions in newspapers' editorial cartoons.

"You will be a simile, Ted"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2018
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I've been told I have a Supreme Court figure.

No appeal

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2018
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Damn Good Lawyering

"Yes, Your Honor, my client ripped the arms off of every teddy bear in the store. But as I recall, the second amendment states he has the right to bear arms."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2018
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Constitution joke

Say what you want about the 1st amendment...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oddular
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2019
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Remember the story where a woman assaulted a police officer by spraying her with breast milk?

If I were her attorney, I could get a not-guilty verdict using the First Amendment. She was exercising her freedom of expression.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2018
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Why did the hunter cut off the grizzly bear's arms?

Because according to the 2nd amendment.....the hunter has the right to bear arms

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ToastyTwinklenugs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2017
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Girlfriend was playing Dragon Age: Origins

Her: "Zevran, you're next few levels are going to Constitution..."

Me: "He needs a Bill of Rights."

Bonus: "How many amendments are you going to give him?"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jcb245
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2017
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I'm starting my own body shop and I have just the slogan...

"Highly Wreck Amended."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ErmahgerdMerker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2014
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Father Margin

Me (reading news): Huh, there must be an large Irish Priest named Margin...

Wife: Why?

Me: I just read "Voters in Ireland back amendment allowing gay marriage by big margin"

Wife: ...

Me: That's going to be one busy priest....

Wife: ... ...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thorrablot
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2015
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Just stumbled on this sub. It's the reason my Dad exists.

So the joke goes "You know, James Madison was a naturalist. A lot of people don't know that. He really loved the environment and care a lot about wildlife. In fact, he tried to put protecting wildlife into the bill of rights, but a lot of people don't know that he was dyslexic too. So when he was writing the 2nd amendment he wrote the right to bear arms, but what he meant was the right to arm bears!"

Just went on a tour of revolutionary battlegrounds (truly amazing if you ever get the chance) and that joke was told in excess of 50 times, no exaggeration.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CyrusGreat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2013
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My Dad (regarding today)

DAD: "Hey do you know who made Thanksgiving a holiday?"

ME: "Abraham Lincoln"

DAD: "Did you know he also invented Black Friday?"

ME: "Really?"

DAD: "Yeah, it was part of the 13th amendment"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThatGuyKaral
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2013
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I can't believe girls at school can't wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment

Don't they have a right to bare arms?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Origamibyameer1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2018
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