New Amendment to the Constitution

Can we not pass a new amendment to the Constitution that all Politicians must obey? I want this new Amendment to read: "Don't be a cunt."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeckoInTexas
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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This is what being American is all about. Second Amendment Lights.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDorkKnight53
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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What did the US Constitution say to the 8th Amendment?

You my lil' shorty.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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I just heard that the government has made an amendment to lockdown to allow Father Christmas out...

It's called the Santa Clause

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πŸ‘€︎ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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She's a huge supporter of the 2nd Amendment imgur.com/DsH4xDI
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mammothman64
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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Second Amendment

If you are against the second amendment, you could get fired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1smaels
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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There's an amendment in America for people to wear T-shirts.

I call it "The Right To Bare Arms"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dajafo01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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I can't believe the girls at school can't wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment...

Don't they have a right to bare arms?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Origamibyameer1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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Did you hear about the knitters for the 2nd Amendment?

Dont thread on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/protoprf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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I'm not sure I can tell you word-for-word what the 2nd Amendment is...

But I'll take a shot at it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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Why did Yogi like the second amendment?

Because he loved his bear arms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Braz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2017
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Between the First Amendment's freedom of assembly and the Eighth Amendment's no cruel and unusual punishment, the US Constitution is basically saying "some assembly required, battery not included."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sylvanussr
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2017
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So in school we’re learning about the Bill of Rights, and today we talked about the second amendment. It says we have the right to β€œbear Arms,” but I was curious where the right to bear Feet is.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OhTheComedy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
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The Second Amendment imgur.com/ejIIXaK
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2014
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What's a bird's favorite amendment?

Freedom of SCREECH!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluebonnetcafe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
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Follows Second Amendment: Right To Bear Arms
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StartCase
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2011
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She must aMENd things
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilgaysurvivor6
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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Americans love frozen fruit so much, they wrote it into the constitution...

The 1st amendment is the right to freeze peach.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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I received a letter the other day saying my tax return was 'outstanding'.

Although it's lovely to receive such high praise from HMRC, to be honest I can't even remember sending one in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnydarko-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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Senator Cruz didn't like it when an editorial cartoon depicted him as a Borg

His Chief of Staff explained to him that in the US, the First Amendment guaranteed all citizens the right to free speech, and that yes this did indeed include unflattering depictions in newspapers' editorial cartoons.

"You will be a simile, Ted"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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I've been told I have a Supreme Court figure.

No appeal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
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Damn Good Lawyering

"Yes, Your Honor, my client ripped the arms off of every teddy bear in the store. But as I recall, the second amendment states he has the right to bear arms."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roivas14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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Constitution joke

Say what you want about the 1st amendment...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oddular
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Remember the story where a woman assaulted a police officer by spraying her with breast milk?

If I were her attorney, I could get a not-guilty verdict using the First Amendment. She was exercising her freedom of expression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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Why did the hunter cut off the grizzly bear's arms?

Because according to the 2nd amendment.....the hunter has the right to bear arms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyTwinklenugs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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Girlfriend was playing Dragon Age: Origins

Her: "Zevran, you're next few levels are going to Constitution..."

Me: "He needs a Bill of Rights."

Bonus: "How many amendments are you going to give him?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jcb245
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
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I'm starting my own body shop and I have just the slogan...

"Highly Wreck Amended."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ErmahgerdMerker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
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Father Margin

Me (reading news): Huh, there must be an large Irish Priest named Margin...

Wife: Why?

Me: I just read "Voters in Ireland back amendment allowing gay marriage by big margin"

Wife: ...

Me: That's going to be one busy priest....

Wife: ... ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thorrablot
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2015
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Just stumbled on this sub. It's the reason my Dad exists.

So the joke goes "You know, James Madison was a naturalist. A lot of people don't know that. He really loved the environment and care a lot about wildlife. In fact, he tried to put protecting wildlife into the bill of rights, but a lot of people don't know that he was dyslexic too. So when he was writing the 2nd amendment he wrote the right to bear arms, but what he meant was the right to arm bears!"

Just went on a tour of revolutionary battlegrounds (truly amazing if you ever get the chance) and that joke was told in excess of 50 times, no exaggeration.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyrusGreat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2013
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My Dad (regarding today)

DAD: "Hey do you know who made Thanksgiving a holiday?"

ME: "Abraham Lincoln"

DAD: "Did you know he also invented Black Friday?"

ME: "Really?"

DAD: "Yeah, it was part of the 13th amendment"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatGuyKaral
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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I can't believe girls at school can't wear tank tops, it totally violates the second amendment

Don't they have a right to bare arms?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Origamibyameer1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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