An alcoholic wakes up in jail and asks the nearest officer why he's there
"For excessive drinking" the officer replies
So the prisoner replies "Great, when do we start?"
I bought an alcoholic ginger beer today.
Why did the alcoholic rooster keep running around in circles?
It was chasing after a cocktail.
My dad was an alcoholic who wanted to be a lawyer
He could never pass the bar
Why are all ghosts considered alcoholics?
Because they take Boos everywhere they go!
Why can’t alcoholics become lawyers?
Because they can never just pass a bar.
I've been told I'm an alcoholic....
I decided to drink about it.
Where does a Canadian alcoholic go to get help?
Did you hear the alcoholic skydiver is feeling unwell
He's coming down with a cold one
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
What do you call alcoholics anonymous in Canada?
What do alcoholic horses drink?
What's the difference between a sneaky alcoholic and a clumsy plastic surgeon?
One takes a nip of the tipple, the other takes the tip off a nipple.
Why are ghosts alcoholics?
They drink too much booo-ze
What happened to the alcoholic gymnast?
They were prone to rolling blackouts.
Alcoholics don’t run in my family
But sometimes they fall down the stairs.
The government started banning alcoholic drinks, so I'm selling liquor in secret.
My friends and I were discussing about different kinds of alcoholic drinks, and this guy kept talking about a Japanese one
What is the alcoholic outdoorsman’s favorite drink?
Studies show alcoholic law students...
...are more likely to have trouble passing the bar.
An alcoholic wakes up in prison
He asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?"
"For drinking," replies the officer.
"Great," says the man, "when do we start?"
What did the alcoholic sheep say when asked where he wanted to go?
My Canadian cousin used to be an alcoholic
He's doing better since he joined the Eh Eh
What does a law student and a recovering alcoholic have in common?
They both have to pass the bar.
When I drink alcohol, everyone says I’m alcoholic
But when I drink Fanta, no one says I’m fantastic...
Homer Simpson is an alcoholic because he is following his dad's only piece of advise
How do alcoholic beverages send disappearing pictures?
What do you call an alcoholic fish that's dangerous?
What's an alcoholic's favourite book?
The alcoholic lawyer got his license revoked by the judge.
I've joined Alcoholics Anonymous.
I now drink under a different name.
I have a book for alcoholics and drug abusers
What’s an alcoholic frog’s favorite game?
I think my kid is an alcoholic
he always whines everytime we dine
Why is Luigi an alcoholic?
Because his mansion is full of boos
Did you know that, technically, all beverages are alcoholic?
If they’re not getting drunk, then they’re getting wasted.
Did you hear about the stressed out alcoholic last night?
When someone drinks alcohol, people call the alcoholic, when someone drinks Fanta, no one calls them fantastic.
This isn't my joke, I just thought it deserves to be on r/puns
As a struggling dry alcoholic, I had a few dreams where I didn't give in to drinking last night
Why don't they send alcoholics to jail for substance abuse?
What is an alcoholics favorite kind of tape?
An alcoholic law student walks into a bar . . .
He regretted not passing the bar.
I bought an alcoholic ginger beer.
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