The Alcoholics Puns

A list of puns related to "The Alcoholics"

An alcoholic wakes up in jail and asks the nearest officer why he's there

"For excessive drinking" the officer replies So the prisoner replies "Great, when do we start?"

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👤︎ u/st_jimmy_02
📅︎ Feb 23 2021
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Where did the alcoholic battery go?

An AA meeting!

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👤︎ u/scamperly
📅︎ Apr 28 2021
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Did you hear about the alcoholic law student?

She couldn't pass the bar.

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/reten
📅︎ May 04 2021
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Which alcoholic drink can give you the illusion that you're hurt?

Sham-pain

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👤︎ u/mitiamedved
📅︎ Mar 17 2021
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Did you hear about the dangerous alcoholic who consumed his booze from a sizzling Chinese frying pan?

He liked to drink risky on the woks

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👤︎ u/incredibleinkpen
📅︎ Mar 23 2021
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Why did the alcoholic rooster keep running around in circles?

It was chasing after a cocktail.

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/RealitiesOfWar
📅︎ Mar 03 2021
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Did you hear the alcoholic skydiver is feeling unwell

He's coming down with a cold one

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/jake_chyllenhaal123
📅︎ Dec 03 2020
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What happened to the alcoholic gymnast?

They were prone to rolling blackouts.

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👤︎ u/TheCochMan
📅︎ Sep 26 2020
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What's the difference between a sneaky alcoholic and a clumsy plastic surgeon?

One takes a nip of the tipple, the other takes the tip off a nipple.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/chewingthefatchungus
📅︎ Nov 06 2020
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The government started banning alcoholic drinks, so I'm selling liquor in secret.

It's a Whisky business

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/RevanAndTheSithy
📅︎ Sep 07 2020
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What is the alcoholic outdoorsman’s favorite drink?

Oxygen

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/purpcicle
📅︎ Jul 16 2020
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What did the alcoholic sheep say when asked where he wanted to go?

baa

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/MrTaddington
📅︎ Aug 17 2020
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The alcoholic lawyer got his license revoked by the judge.

He kept going to disbar.

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/Sir_Pluses
📅︎ Feb 14 2020
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When someone drinks alcohol, people call the alcoholic, when someone drinks Fanta, no one calls them fantastic.

This isn't my joke, I just thought it deserves to be on r/puns

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/vVeemo
📅︎ Jun 16 2019
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Did you hear about the stressed out alcoholic last night?

He was in a pour mood

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/Scoob1978
📅︎ Sep 07 2019
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What did the Italian alcoholic get from the library?

Sambuca

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/Nitrammloh
📅︎ May 31 2019
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Do you know the worst thing about being an alcoholic with diabetes is?

All the shots

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👤︎ u/LargestLadAround
📅︎ Oct 06 2018
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What did the alcoholic husband said to his wife whenwhen he returned home?

I'm home beer

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/LilCuntBoyXD
📅︎ Jun 16 2019
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Alcoholic law students have trouble passing the bar.
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👤︎ u/masta666
📅︎ Aug 04 2014
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Wanna know the name of a famous alcoholic bootlegger?

They called him Ale Capone.

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/GravelGrasp
📅︎ Aug 05 2018
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Where's a good place for birds to buy tools and alcoholic beverages at the same time?

The Crow Bar

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/isthisusernametakenr
📅︎ Apr 15 2018
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What does the German alcoholic say when he wakes up in the morning?

"Rise and Stein!"

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/inertia186
📅︎ Jan 30 2015
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