Friend: β€œHow’s your job at the travel agency?”

Me: β€œTerrible. I’m not going anywhere”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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I work for the Marvel Comics Fairy Agency making magic sticks.

I'm a part of the WANDaVision.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Temp Agency: So, can you do retail?

Lizard: Yes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/suktupbutterkup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I was at the recruitment agency and the consultant asked me what I thought of voluntary work?

I wouldn't do it if you paid me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RebellionRob75
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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What did one Bro say to his Bro at a travel agency?

Bro 1- Bro will you hand me that pamphlet? Bro 2- Bro sure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qwarrentine424
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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What agency does the president call upon when craving a late night snack?

The Secret Room Service

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayWolf85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I met my wife at a travel agency

She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Today I tried to get a job at a general labor temp agency but was told I didn't qualify.

I am only cleared for leiutenant labor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
So the travel agency said I could climb Mt. Everest and it would only cost $100,000.

I said no thanks, that's a bit too steep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flazdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Thanks for calling the predatory animal lifting agency. We’ll be with you in a minute...

...Please hold the lion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J_Sphere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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I used to run a dating agency for chickens.

But I was struggling to make hens meet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lookoutnow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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I'm going to create my own assassin agency

Our slogan: We aim to please.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sammy_Colon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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The National Security Agency has intercepted a series of credible threats against Santa.

They have asked for help from the Department of Ho Ho Homeland security.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drwheatie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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What did the undercover elk use to communicate with his agency?

Moose Code

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FurryWalnut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
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A recruitment agency phoned me up. 'Can you tell me what your ideal position is?' asked the woman, very politely.

Apparently, 'legs up on the sofa' wasn't the answer she was looking for.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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My bird protection agency:

No harm no fowl.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleish22
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
🚨︎ report
If I joined the Cuban space agency...

I'd be a Castronaut

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clevertoucan
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2015
🚨︎ report
I work at a foster care agency with a rent to own policy...

Its called wombs to go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thosjb
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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Why can't incontinent people work at an intelligence agency?

Because they're leaking

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobbyLee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
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I've decided I'm going to open a travel agency specializing in trips to nudist beaches.

It's going to be called New Directions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T3hN1nj4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2016
🚨︎ report
When I worked for a design agency, I had two adamant higher-ups... (Long Pun)

When I worked for a design agency, I had two adamant higher-ups. There was a brand identity project for a new company, and I was in charge of typography, but those two disagreed with my choice of font.

The first one was this stony-looking Peruvian-American man named Esteban Ferrero, but since that's Spanish for Steven Smith, and our company had a rule that everyone has to call each other using nicknames instead of last names, everyone, including himself, just called him Steve. The second one was a Dutch woman with a sharp glare named Evelien van der Berg. She was famous for giving designers a hard time convincing her that their design choices work better than hers. In accordance with the company rules, we called her Eve.

Anyway, I showed Steve my first draft, and he wasn't convinced that I chose LinoLetter as the main font, and told me that I should use a sans-serif font. But I stood by my position that serifs add legibility to printed and digital material, that it fits the company's identity as an organic store, and that it is hard to stand out with a sans-serif. It took a lot of debate, but in the end, Steve was convinced that LinoLetter was acceptable.

A few days later, I showed Eve a more elaborated version, as for the sizes and styles of the font, and the pairing of LinoLetter with Century as the headline font. She insisted that I should have used a sans-serif font for the headline. I expressed my view that LinoLetter is a font with composed and legible shape, and Century, while it is also legible, has flair at larger sizes. She kept disagreeing with me, saying I should use something bolder and more contrasting, like Tungsten. It felt like hours had passed before the conversation went anywhere, so I had to give up and look for a sans-serif font that goes with LinoLetter.

So it goes to show that the one who gave me a hard time was adamant Eve, not adamant Steve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
🚨︎ report
The Schiaparelli Mars Lander exploded on impact with Mars, the European Space Agency announced...

The Lander is now known as Scraparelli.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
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on the phone with Travel Agency

Friend was complaining about being on hold with the cruise agency shes going through for going on a cruise.

her-- "ive been on hold for 20 min with the cruise agency!"

me-- "guess they put you on cruise control"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatlbro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2014
🚨︎ report

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